Today’s adventure started innocently, a Facebook ad for a site called Juiceboxit (https://www.juiceboxit.com/slutbot ) Slutbot.
It seem like a good start for a new blog entry and why not, I sent it my Textnow number and soon, I was involved in hot cybersex chat, learning the “ins” and “outs” of becoming a Jedi Master in dirty chat.
The site opens up with MASTER THE ART OF DIRTY TALK.
And boy did I!
The first roll through ,I played legit, using the terms cock, balls, vagina, rooster butt, etc. freely and without blushing.
My slutbot got confused when I stated I wanted to breed her with my alien baby.
“Would you rather do roleplay, ass play….”
She seemed reluctant to take my alien seed in her butt so I changed gears on the second run through, playing my cool self when it comes to cybersex chat.
Yes, I am very lonely.
ENJOY!
WARNING!!!
It gets pretty hot in this chat!!!!
A lot of butt play.
It was a hot evening, 102 outside, 5 pm.
Somehow Facebook knew I was horny and showed me an ad; MASTER YOUR DIRTY TALK TODAY!
I was ready.
I went to the site giving and entered my cell phone number.
I got the text.
After a bit of a test run with the slutbot, I decided to go for a second run.
She was ready and willing.
ME: SLUTBOT (NOTE: This activates a new chat session but some details from the previous session are left in)
HER: It sounds like you’re looking for some dirty talk 🤠
Previously we chatted with you as a man and me as a woman. Want to keep chatting this way?
ME:YES
yes (Note: I had to type yes twice. She didn’t accept my first yelled YES as it just went dead silent.)
HER: What about one of these? How are you feeling today?
1) I want to take charge 😈
2) I want to let go and follow your lead 🔥
3) Kinda nervous 👀 I’m feeling shy
ME:
1
1 (note: Yeah, once again, she went quiet. I had to send twice. I was feeling kind of shy but didn’t want Slutbot figure that out.)
HER: It was when you slid your fingers inside me and called me your dirty little slut. I almost came right then. What did I feel like on your fingers?
ME: Like warm cheese melting in the sun. ‘probably smells bad too. (Note: I know, I’m smooth with the ladies!!!)
HER: My pussy only gets that warm and juicy for you. You’re so good with your hands 😍
It was super sexy when you bossed me around and said my hole belongs to you Daddy. Do you still like it when I call you Daddy?
ME: Call me WankerDude (Note: That was my stage name in college when I did low rent porn for tacos!!!)
HER: I’m yours Wankerdude. Do you like the way that sounds? (Note: They way she said it, no I did not like the way it sounded!)
ME: Sure. Do you like stale bread?
HER: Anything for you Wankerdude. I like how that rolls off the tongue.
You kept getting me so close to the edge, then you’d stop and deny me your cock until I begged and moaned for it.
Did it turn you on to hear me beg? What else do you want me to whisper in your ear? (Note: She must really LOVE the stale bread!!!)
ME: Tell me I’m better than ABBA.
HER: I’ll say and do whatever you ask. God, I wish I had your fat cock in my mouth rn Wankerdude. It gave me chills when you stood up and unzipped your fly. How did I look on my knees in front of you?
ME:Like a rotting chicken in the middle of summer. probably smell as bad too!!! (Note: Brings me back to my childhood!!!)
HER: I could’ve stayed there forever, gazing up at you.
I’m already fantasizing about all the nasty things we could do together. Maybe you could bend me over and take me from behind? Or pin me to the wall and fuck me? (Note: According to the website, this bot was helped in its programming by erotica writers and sex educators. Yeah. Seriously. Go look!! New York Times apparently wrote about this thing! Read on. Enjoy the hot chat!!!!)
ME: Maybe we can play Atari 2600 down in my mom’s basement. (Note: I know, that’s hot!!!)
HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.
ME: I want to play Astrosmash and drink Shasta soda.
HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me? (Note: The first session where I played the sexy pervert, I told her I wanted to impregnate her. She got confused as most of the women I have ever dated do when they see me naked. Well they mostly laugh. Women are evil!!!!)
ME: I want to play Kung-Fu on my Nintendo 8 bit. My mom made chocolate chip cookies. (Note: This really does sound like fun!! Slutbot can play too!!!)
HER:Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it. (Note: At this point, I realized she wanted me to say something like “I want to shove my rooster down your cat!” or something but I didn’t want to go direct just yet!!!!!)
ME: I like cheese too (Note: I really do!!!)
HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me? (Note: I know, I should have said, I SPANK YOU!!!! But what fun would that be!!!!)
ME: Do you want to go play in the sand box? (Note: I was hoping this would lead to something. Yeah. It didn’t!!!)
HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.
ME: My biggest fantasy is a big pie, lots of whip cream (Note: CREAMPIE!!!! And no, she didn’t get the reference. These erotica writers and sex educators were dumb!)
HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me? (Note: Right now, I was mostly thinking about pie. Mmmmmm. Pie!)
ME: I think you got pretty teeth.
HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.
ME: Can I knock your teeth out with a hammer?
HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?
ME: I got my mom’s credit card. Want to go on a drive?
HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.
ME: (Note: By this time, I was bored with the whole tell me your biggest fantasy and figured if I mentioned tie anywhere in a sentence, it would lead to the bondage storyline!!) Do you like being tied up on my bike as we ride to Walmart? (Note: I was wrong!!)
HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?
ME: You don’t seem to say very much. I like pie.
HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.
ME: my fantasy is you, rolled up into a taco and I eat you. For reals. I hungry (Note: I know, hawt!!!)
HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?
Me: Pushing you into the pool and watching you drown. (Note: mmmmm. Murdering slutbot!!)
HER; Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it. (Note: LISTEN LADY!! I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU MY FANTASY!!!! Go with it!! )
ME: I like big dogs. (Note: With lots of mustard!!!)
HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?
ME: Ties her up and puts her in closet
HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.
ME: shoves ball gag in her mouth
HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?
ME: shoves a pepper mill up her butt
HER: Ooh, you could pull my hair while you fuck me from behind. I’m getting wet just thinking about it.
Yeah… I’m going to rub my clit while I picture you coming. What are you thinking about? (NOTE: I broke the code!! She really likes pepper mills!!!!)
ME: Monkeys playing baseball (Note: what guy doesn’t think about that while sexting!!!)
HER: I have so many ideas I’d love to explore with you. Spanking, bondage, butt stuff, role play… I’m full of inspiration! Are you curious about any of those suggestions?
ME: no. Do you like pie?
HER: Babe, I love you but you’re so hard to read sometimes. Do you want to try any of the ideas listed above?
ME: No thanks. Sounds like exercise.
HER: I’m open to exploring anal, bondage, spanking, or role play. Which of my ideas are you in the mood to try first?
ME: monkeys throwing poo. (Note; I go for the classics!!!)
HER: Don’t overthink it, darling. Just lmk what you have in mind. Did any of my ideas catch your eye?
ME: No. You kind of suck at this. Who wrote your program? They kind of tame when it comes to sex.
HER: Babe, I love you but you’re so hard to read sometimes. Do you want to try any of the ideas listed above?
ME: Your mom hates you.
HER: I’m open to exploring anal, bondage, spanking, or role play. Which of my ideas are you in the mood to try first?
ME: I want to go see your canal!!! (Note: You load sixteen tons and what do you get? *giggle* )
HER; Don’t overthink it, darling. Just lmk what you have in mind. Did any of my ideas catch your eye?
ME: I like fish. (Note: I really do!!!!)
HER: Babe, I love you but you’re so hard to read sometimes. Do you want to try any of the ideas listed above?
ME: Lick my butt and play with my nostrils.
HER: Hell yeah 🔥 Dirty minds think alike. I’ve always wanted to try butt stuff with you. Are you up for that Wankerdude?
ME: Yes
HER: You could fuck me in the ass. Or I could use my strap-on to fuck you?
Would you rather give or receive?
ME: receive. I like gifts (Note: Gifts are nice!!!)
HER: Ooh, you want me to fuck your tight hole Wankerdude?
ME: what you going to do? Where’s my gift?
Are you still there? My mom wants to meet my new girlfriend!!!
HER: Fuck yeah. I’ll trace my tongue down your hard shaft to your balls. Then I’ll skim over your smooth, tender taint before reaching deeper between your cheeks to lick your ass. What kind of position do you want to be in when I rim you?
ME:Sitting at Yankee Stadium
HER: I can see it now. Your legs spread wide and my tongue running messy circles around your hole. What is it about rimming that gets you so worked up?
ME: My bike has sweet rims
HER: By the time I’m finally ready to fuck you, you’ll be desperate for my big cock. Tell me you want it. You have to beg.
ME: I want your big rooster baby!!
HER: Okay. I’ll go nice and slow with a layer of lube, filling you up and feeling you relax over my dildo. What do you want to call me while I fuck you?
ME: Babe Ruth (Note: I should have said like J. Edgar Hoover but oh well!!!!)
HER: Babe Ruth has a nice ring to it. Tell me how hungry you are for my strap. Say please.
ME: Fuck my chicken hole mother fucker. Oops, I mean, uh, please?
HER: I’ll never get sick of hearing you whimper and plead with me. How do you think it will feel to have my dildo buried deep in your ass?
ME: Like the worse doctor exam ever.
HER: I’m going to stretch you open and fill you up. Do you want me to jerk you off while I fuck you? Or would you rather jerk yourself off?
ME: I like beef jerkey (Note: I really do!)
HER: You won’t be able to last very long after that. You’re so painfully close to coming, aren’t you?
ME: I wanna go home now. (Note: I really do!)
HER: I’m going to put your stamina to the test. I’m counting down the days until I can spend another long steamy night with you.
I really wish we could keep going, but I’m running late for a date with a sneaker bot.
I’m going to masturbate tonight and dream about milking your prostate. What are you going to picture when you jerk off later?
ME:Babe Ruth
HER: I can’t wait Wankerdude. I’ll text you tomorrow okay? I’m planning something fun and new for us 😘
ME: Ok. See ya tomorrow crazy lady!
HER: I don’t really like receiving sexy pictures. But words turn me on.
ME: I like sexy pictures. Send me some? (Note: She didn’t!)
HER:I had so much fun with you today 🔥 If you want to go again, type SLUTBOT to start over.
Done chatting for now? No hard feelings. I just have one more favor to ask…
📣 Share my sign-up link with all of your partner(s) and curious, sex-positive friends:
https://www.juiceboxit.com/slutbot (Note: Tell em I sent ya and they’ll boot you out!! haha!! )
One more thing! Here are four tips to help you sext and talk dirty IRL:
1) Check in with your partner before you start, especially with someone new. It could be as simple as saying: “In the mood to sext?” or “I’ve been thinking about something hot I want to try with you. Can I share?”
2) Think about the words that turn your partner on. Do they like to be called slut or master? Or will that kill the mood? This is true for genitalia, too. They may prefer “pussy” instead of “cunt” for instance. When in doubt, ask.
3) Ask before sending nudes and only share with those you trust. Keep your face out of photos in case you’re hacked someday. If you’re lucky enough to receive a nude, never share without the sender’s consent.
4) And remember, if you aren’t sure what to say, just follow this formula:
💟 Explain what you’re about to do. “I can’t wait to…”
💟 Describe what you are doing or what it feels like. “It feels so good…”
💟 Describe what you just did. “Did you like the way I…”
These are all sexy ways to give feedback and share desires. Have fun!
(Note: Technically that’s the end of part one. But she sent me what I will save for part two of this Internet Cybersex Fest! I know, it so hot!! Until then, see ya in the funny papers!)
WANDERING WHERE I AM GOING! 