The pounding of the drums, wait, can you hear the dying of the light? Madness increased to deafening heights, the world screams, Jesus! Jesus! Oh mother fucker, Jesus!

Man jumps in front of racing train to catch a buzz.

Fly oh brilliance into the blazing sun.

There in College sat oh mindless class, to whisper in sunset chats; fuck this watered down act.

We sat there in rays of hope, waiting for anything, hopelessly in love, lust for life, making out with our trusts.

Screaming into the darkness, silence by the rage burning inside the collected madness.

We were not right.


There’s no time like the present,

Hold on to it tight,

Don’t let go, don’t let it drift away, don’t let it drown, don’t let it mix up, into bitter memories.

Solider onward to avoid the nightmare,

Sympathy of broken dreams,Don’t let it wander,


Shaded write,

Let it free,Let it be,Free to be,


In the night,

Solider on,

Let it be,There in wonder

Solider on,

A memory of things that was.

Date line: I ferget!

Random motions in a typical dream, an ocean of violence in bloom,
The world seems magical, almost comical,
A realization that the minute you are a born, you’re a minute closer to death,
As a child, it scares you, to think of such things, to die,
Then someone,
Your heart
Your soul,
The worse moment than your own death,
You continue on,
You will ask yourself,
It happens,
People around you,
Don’t understand,
How can you say such things,
It is great to be alive,
But is it?
Without a heart,
Without a soul?

You will find someone,
Maybe a few someone,
But that moment,
Will be the end of your world.

You will not see the beauty anymore,
The fear won’t be there either,
You will be ready for that moment of passing,
But Jesus for some reason,
Will keep you alive,
Mostly to fuck with you,
Jesus is good at that,
God is even better,
“See my power, my will, to keep you going,
Why? Cause I can!!

Don’t believe me,
Lose your heart,
Lose your soul,
Lose that reason you stay alive for,
Then you will discover,
The true meaning,
The true place that is Hell.


Posted: December 17, 2022 in poems, POETRY
Tags: , , , ,

Standing on the corner, looking towards the bright light of a mushroom cloud, the last sins of Las Vegas, New York, even now Moscow, evaporated into dust, mortal wounds no longer mattered, vaporized in high lights, sacrifice!

Where are the new wines we were offered, no longer a part of that payment scheme?

Jesus cried, God gave up, went insane, tried to find a reason why.

There was no reason, no plight, war was just for war sake.

There we were, standing on the corner, waiting for a bus, that would never come.

Rejoice in the matter, this is our night, to madness we ran into that brilliant light, to embrace our death, oh brilliance, in the end it did not matter, just a new life.

Into the night we ran,
Our souls filled with horrors,
The last man standing,
Dies alone.

Here, in victory,
We cried for our horrors began,
The night wind howls to the lonely tree,
The man in his guise,
Falls from grace,
A million years,
A thousand eyes,
Ripping out the lies,
The man in the car,
No one gets out of here alive,
The jester fell
For the King,
And the Queen,
Everyone here is,
An illusion of madness,
As the lake begins to boil,
The snail is on the side of the road,
Wake up,
See faith,
Bow in disgrace,
You’ve lost the battle,
Fuck the war!

A lie,
No matter the size,
or the side,
We all die,
There’s a killer on the side,
Let us lie in Heaven,
To fly into Hell,
Good night
And good bye!

Does the Earth hear the crying of our young, the old, our broken warriors marching through heated plains, to destination unknown?


The word died many moons ago.

We stood at the hill, our eyes looking towards the sun, we did not see the promised lands, the milk or the honey, just a waste nobody wanted in the Upper Crust, till the gold and silver was found, then new promises to be broken….

We were promised good lands, to raise our lives but we received salted plains where nothing would grow. We grew hungry, our youth grew bitter, rage, we danced for the hope but Great Father took our dances as threats, sent in the soldiers, to murder us, to silence us, this was the way, we did not need to be told.

The moon and the sky tried to keep us safe, but even with the great medicine man, we were not enough, we danced and they came, afraid, raids, burning our homes to that salted earth.

Did their God only love the white man?

We were forced to speak their tongue, beaten if we did not obey. We were forced to love their God even though he seem not to care about us because we were not the right color.

Great father said we shall give you lands then proceeded to take them away as soon as value was found.

The white man came and took it all away.

We were not humans to them, dogs, to be beaten, sent on our way till something else was found, “Go to the next promised land!” Great Father said, “Do not dare dance as we know it is the Devil’s dance!”

We danced for our ancestors, they cried for us, prayed for us, but it did not matter, the living were trapped, marching to the next promised land.

There in the distance stood the bear, the coyote and the crow, each trying to save us, but they could not, their power ran out long ago.

The great bison was a memory, only a story, a legend to our children, who would be taken away from us, to be raised as the white father saw fit.

Our future was blight.

The fire dimmed.

Dreams did not come.

Where did the promised lands go?


Posted: November 27, 2022 in POETRY

Hi! I’m your friend,
Your imaginary best friend,
I’ll never leave you,
You’re my best friend,
Evil music plays!
I’ll never leave you…

Trick or treat,
Merry Happy Holidays,
I guess,
I can say hi, how are you?
Without offending anybody?!

Flies in my honey,
But that’s alright,
Mama making biscuits,
Are you feeling alright?

Tricks, oh bother!

Not to touch the sky,
To feel that misery,
Deep in the Earth,
A life,
Oh brother,
Can you see the falling of the trees,
Into the ground,
Not to see the sun?

Up on the Dark Hill,
Stands a house,
Misery of pained life,
Burning in the sun,
Oh fellow of that house,
Do not fear the reaper,
Do not know the fear,
Run to nothing,
Feel the sun,
The sounds of the dying,
Breathless murders,
In happy fields,
Lies of golden tongues,
Killing spree,
Jesus Fucking Nuns,
Crawling towards the edge,
Happy pills,
To keep the fears out of our brains,
Off burning cliffs,
Into crashing waves,
Oh the life,
Into rage,
Rage against the dying light
The machinery of life,
Oh fuck…


Posted: October 12, 2022 in depression, fiction, Suicide
Tags: , , , , ,

A silent scream,
Madness inherited into that deep sleep they shall not wake,
We were nothing,
Slight fantasies as they,
The prophets,
Began to sacrifice the sacred cow,
The blood ran like a river to hell,
A memory adrift in a sea of misery,
We have cast the dice,
To land where they may,
A chance of great,
Simple meal with a long dead saint,
A last eternal sleep,
There we shall ride,
Straight to the blade of suicide,
Where the mount shall bound,
To send us to Hell…

We stood in the darkness, our eyes adjusting,
Rage, hate, bitterness,
Washed away in distant memories,
Oh madness, oh madness,
Blight on the heights,
Of raging waves,
Smashed against the beaches,
Nobody gets out of here alive,
Whispers in the midnight,
Lovers plotting revenge on hated life,
Oh mother,
Oh father,
Oh sister,
Oh brother,
Call out to that madness,
Alive to see the breaking of the day,
Are tossed aside,
In bitter storms,
To fight with tooth,
And to fight with nail,
To see that breaking of that day!