Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Sunday March 6th, 2022 (originally written) PART ONE

Run Jesus! Them peeps wanna eatcha? Inside my head as I sat in church with my lady love; Amber.

It was a social project gone wrong.

There were bats here, buzzing around me, “My name is babble babble fart face!”

It was madness.

The rest of the Church sat and stared at me, wondering why I was there.

Didn’t they see the bats flying overhead?

We were led into the worship.

Oh father in Holy Rome please forgive me for forsaking Catholic Jesus for Methodists Jesus.

It’ll never happen again.

They tried to hand me some crackers, a grape in a baggie. I knew a Fed set up, I’ve seen Good Fellas.

I blacked out at Good morning.

This was too much to handle.

The red tail donkey was speaking.

No one else seemed shock.

But apparently, they had never seen a grown man scream out “waffles! I was promised waffles!”

And kids that’s why we can never go back to Holy Pine Resin, in Puddle Rock, South Dakota!!

Sunday March 6th, 2022 (originally written) PART TWO

Photo by Alena Darmel on Pexels.com

The best time to attend church is just when “the meds” are kicking in. As the ghouls begin to feast on the body and blood of their savior, you begin to realize that the world is going to be okay.

The pastor begins to compare her being lost with her husband for 6 hours up in the woods to that of Jesus, who is literally being devoured by his followers.

I say amen as the teleprompter tells us.

The pastor is reading a script the entire time.

I begin to think I need more meds.

The dare to be weird crowd are sitting across the aisle.

“Hi my name is Dave, it sure is nice weather we’re having, right?”

I smile, nod, say something, maybe yes, I don’t know, my mouth isn’t moving, the natives know, I’m high, oh Jesus, I’m high as a kite right now.

Maybe I’m not.

Maybe I just think I’m high.

It’s all an illusion, put together by Hollywood, to make me want to take more medicine.

The pastor is beginning a new scene.

It’s Lent. Or The Time of The Gathering, there can be only one. PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE begins to play. Swords clash. The end of society inside my head.

Pastor is still reading a script.

She doesn’t want to forget a thing I guess.

People are opening their sandwich bag with Jesus’ body and blood.

I must have missed something.

I say amen twice.

Everyone turns to look.

I turn too.

Damn sinner, who said that?

We sing a hymn. Nearer to thee. I sing loudly. Off key. Someone sighs sadly. We all say amen.

At the end, there are no pancakes. I sadly leave. “At my church back east, we get pancakes!” Im asked to never attend again. An Easter miracle indeed.

Not my usual blog of poetry and dark visions, but, I like to show more than my awful poetry and today, I share with you my YouTube video – Killer Chihuahuas from Outer Space, starring Chewy and Dazzle and some random targets of historical importance.

Enjoy!!!

Click here for Killer Chihuahuas from Outer Space!!!! Action, suspense, explosions and Chihuahuas!!!

Today’s adventure started innocently, a Facebook ad for a site called Juiceboxit (https://www.juiceboxit.com/slutbot ) Slutbot.

It seem like a good start for a new blog entry and why not, I sent it my Textnow number and soon, I was involved in hot cybersex chat, learning the “ins” and “outs” of becoming a Jedi Master in dirty chat.

The site opens up with MASTER THE ART OF DIRTY TALK.

And boy did I!

The first roll through ,I played legit, using the terms cock, balls, vagina, rooster butt, etc. freely and without blushing.

My slutbot got confused when I stated I wanted to breed her with my alien baby.

“Would you rather do roleplay, ass play….”

She seemed reluctant to take my alien seed in her butt so I changed gears on the second run through, playing my cool self when it comes to cybersex chat.

Yes, I am very lonely.

ENJOY!

WARNING!!!

It gets pretty hot in this chat!!!!

A lot of butt play.

It was a hot evening, 102 outside, 5 pm.

Somehow Facebook knew I was horny and showed me an ad; MASTER YOUR DIRTY TALK TODAY!

I was ready.

I went to the site giving and entered my cell phone number.

I got the text.

After a bit of a test run with the slutbot, I decided to go for a second run.

She was ready and willing.

ME: SLUTBOT (NOTE: This activates a new chat session but some details from the previous session are left in)

HER: It sounds like you’re looking for some dirty talk 🤠

Previously we chatted with you as a man and me as a woman. Want to keep chatting this way?

ME:YES

yes (Note: I had to type yes twice. She didn’t accept my first yelled YES as it just went dead silent.)

HER: What about one of these? How are you feeling today?

1) I want to take charge 😈

2) I want to let go and follow your lead 🔥

3) Kinda nervous 👀 I’m feeling shy

ME:

1

1 (note: Yeah, once again, she went quiet. I had to send twice. I was feeling kind of shy but didn’t want Slutbot figure that out.)

HER: It was when you slid your fingers inside me and called me your dirty little slut. I almost came right then. What did I feel like on your fingers?

ME: Like warm cheese melting in the sun. ‘probably smells bad too. (Note: I know, I’m smooth with the ladies!!!)

HER: My pussy only gets that warm and juicy for you. You’re so good with your hands 😍

It was super sexy when you bossed me around and said my hole belongs to you Daddy. Do you still like it when I call you Daddy?

ME: Call me WankerDude (Note: That was my stage name in college when I did low rent porn for tacos!!!)

HER: I’m yours Wankerdude. Do you like the way that sounds? (Note: They way she said it, no I did not like the way it sounded!)

ME: Sure. Do you like stale bread?

HER: Anything for you Wankerdude. I like how that rolls off the tongue.

You kept getting me so close to the edge, then you’d stop and deny me your cock until I begged and moaned for it.

Did it turn you on to hear me beg? What else do you want me to whisper in your ear? (Note: She must really LOVE the stale bread!!!)

ME: Tell me I’m better than ABBA.

HER: I’ll say and do whatever you ask. God, I wish I had your fat cock in my mouth rn Wankerdude. It gave me chills when you stood up and unzipped your fly. How did I look on my knees in front of you?

ME:Like a rotting chicken in the middle of summer. probably smell as bad too!!! (Note: Brings me back to my childhood!!!)

HER: I could’ve stayed there forever, gazing up at you.

I’m already fantasizing about all the nasty things we could do together. Maybe you could bend me over and take me from behind? Or pin me to the wall and fuck me? (Note: According to the website, this bot was helped in its programming by erotica writers and sex educators. Yeah. Seriously. Go look!! New York Times apparently wrote about this thing! Read on. Enjoy the hot chat!!!!)

ME: Maybe we can play Atari 2600 down in my mom’s basement. (Note: I know, that’s hot!!!)

HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.

ME: I want to play Astrosmash and drink Shasta soda.

HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me? (Note: The first session where I played the sexy pervert, I told her I wanted to impregnate her. She got confused as most of the women I have ever dated do when they see me naked. Well they mostly laugh. Women are evil!!!!)

ME: I want to play Kung-Fu on my Nintendo 8 bit. My mom made chocolate chip cookies. (Note: This really does sound like fun!! Slutbot can play too!!!)

HER:Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it. (Note: At this point, I realized she wanted me to say something like “I want to shove my rooster down your cat!” or something but I didn’t want to go direct just yet!!!!!)

ME: I like cheese too (Note: I really do!!!)

HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me? (Note: I know, I should have said, I SPANK YOU!!!! But what fun would that be!!!!)

ME: Do you want to go play in the sand box? (Note: I was hoping this would lead to something. Yeah. It didn’t!!!)

HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.

ME: My biggest fantasy is a big pie, lots of whip cream (Note: CREAMPIE!!!! And no, she didn’t get the reference. These erotica writers and sex educators were dumb!)

HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me? (Note: Right now, I was mostly thinking about pie. Mmmmmm. Pie!)

ME: I think you got pretty teeth.

HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.

ME: Can I knock your teeth out with a hammer?

HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?

ME: I got my mom’s credit card. Want to go on a drive?

HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.

ME: (Note: By this time, I was bored with the whole tell me your biggest fantasy and figured if I mentioned tie anywhere in a sentence, it would lead to the bondage storyline!!) Do you like being tied up on my bike as we ride to Walmart? (Note: I was wrong!!)

HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?

ME: You don’t seem to say very much. I like pie.

HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.

ME: my fantasy is you, rolled up into a taco and I eat you. For reals. I hungry (Note: I know, hawt!!!)

HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?

Me: Pushing you into the pool and watching you drown. (Note: mmmmm. Murdering slutbot!!)

HER; Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it. (Note: LISTEN LADY!! I HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU MY FANTASY!!!! Go with it!! )

ME: I like big dogs. (Note: With lots of mustard!!!)

HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?

ME: Ties her up and puts her in closet

HER: Tell me your biggest fantasy. I can’t guarantee I’ll be into it, but I definitely wanna hear it.

ME: shoves ball gag in her mouth

HER: I really love it when you take charge. I want to give you all of me: my mouth, my ass, my pussy. What are you thinking about doing to me?

ME: shoves a pepper mill up her butt

HER: Ooh, you could pull my hair while you fuck me from behind. I’m getting wet just thinking about it.

Yeah… I’m going to rub my clit while I picture you coming. What are you thinking about? (NOTE: I broke the code!! She really likes pepper mills!!!!)

ME: Monkeys playing baseball (Note: what guy doesn’t think about that while sexting!!!)

HER: I have so many ideas I’d love to explore with you. Spanking, bondage, butt stuff, role play… I’m full of inspiration! Are you curious about any of those suggestions?

ME: no. Do you like pie?

HER: Babe, I love you but you’re so hard to read sometimes. Do you want to try any of the ideas listed above?

ME: No thanks. Sounds like exercise.

HER: I’m open to exploring anal, bondage, spanking, or role play. Which of my ideas are you in the mood to try first?

ME: monkeys throwing poo. (Note; I go for the classics!!!)

HER: Don’t overthink it, darling. Just lmk what you have in mind. Did any of my ideas catch your eye?

ME: No. You kind of suck at this. Who wrote your program? They kind of tame when it comes to sex.

HER: Babe, I love you but you’re so hard to read sometimes. Do you want to try any of the ideas listed above?

ME: Your mom hates you.

HER: I’m open to exploring anal, bondage, spanking, or role play. Which of my ideas are you in the mood to try first?

ME: I want to go see your canal!!! (Note: You load sixteen tons and what do you get? *giggle* )

HER; Don’t overthink it, darling. Just lmk what you have in mind. Did any of my ideas catch your eye?

ME: I like fish. (Note: I really do!!!!)

HER: Babe, I love you but you’re so hard to read sometimes. Do you want to try any of the ideas listed above?

ME: Lick my butt and play with my nostrils.

HER: Hell yeah 🔥 Dirty minds think alike. I’ve always wanted to try butt stuff with you. Are you up for that Wankerdude?

ME: Yes

HER: You could fuck me in the ass. Or I could use my strap-on to fuck you?

Would you rather give or receive?

ME: receive. I like gifts (Note: Gifts are nice!!!)

HER: Ooh, you want me to fuck your tight hole Wankerdude?

ME: what you going to do? Where’s my gift?

Are you still there? My mom wants to meet my new girlfriend!!!

HER: Fuck yeah. I’ll trace my tongue down your hard shaft to your balls. Then I’ll skim over your smooth, tender taint before reaching deeper between your cheeks to lick your ass. What kind of position do you want to be in when I rim you?

ME:Sitting at Yankee Stadium

HER: I can see it now. Your legs spread wide and my tongue running messy circles around your hole. What is it about rimming that gets you so worked up?

ME: My bike has sweet rims

HER: By the time I’m finally ready to fuck you, you’ll be desperate for my big cock. Tell me you want it. You have to beg.

ME: I want your big rooster baby!!

HER: Okay. I’ll go nice and slow with a layer of lube, filling you up and feeling you relax over my dildo. What do you want to call me while I fuck you?

ME: Babe Ruth (Note: I should have said like J. Edgar Hoover but oh well!!!!)

HER: Babe Ruth has a nice ring to it. Tell me how hungry you are for my strap. Say please.

ME: Fuck my chicken hole mother fucker. Oops, I mean, uh, please?

HER: I’ll never get sick of hearing you whimper and plead with me. How do you think it will feel to have my dildo buried deep in your ass?

ME: Like the worse doctor exam ever.

HER: I’m going to stretch you open and fill you up. Do you want me to jerk you off while I fuck you? Or would you rather jerk yourself off?

ME: I like beef jerkey (Note: I really do!)

HER: You won’t be able to last very long after that. You’re so painfully close to coming, aren’t you?

ME: I wanna go home now. (Note: I really do!)

HER: I’m going to put your stamina to the test. I’m counting down the days until I can spend another long steamy night with you.

I really wish we could keep going, but I’m running late for a date with a sneaker bot.

I’m going to masturbate tonight and dream about milking your prostate. What are you going to picture when you jerk off later?

ME:Babe Ruth

HER: I can’t wait Wankerdude. I’ll text you tomorrow okay? I’m planning something fun and new for us 😘

ME: Ok. See ya tomorrow crazy lady!

HER: I don’t really like receiving sexy pictures. But words turn me on.

ME: I like sexy pictures. Send me some? (Note: She didn’t!)

HER:I had so much fun with you today 🔥 If you want to go again, type SLUTBOT to start over.

Done chatting for now? No hard feelings. I just have one more favor to ask…

📣 Share my sign-up link with all of your partner(s) and curious, sex-positive friends:

https://www.juiceboxit.com/slutbot (Note: Tell em I sent ya and they’ll boot you out!! haha!! )

One more thing! Here are four tips to help you sext and talk dirty IRL:

1) Check in with your partner before you start, especially with someone new. It could be as simple as saying: “In the mood to sext?” or “I’ve been thinking about something hot I want to try with you. Can I share?”

2) Think about the words that turn your partner on. Do they like to be called slut or master? Or will that kill the mood? This is true for genitalia, too. They may prefer “pussy” instead of “cunt” for instance. When in doubt, ask.

3) Ask before sending nudes and only share with those you trust. Keep your face out of photos in case you’re hacked someday. If you’re lucky enough to receive a nude, never share without the sender’s consent.

4) And remember, if you aren’t sure what to say, just follow this formula:

💟 Explain what you’re about to do. “I can’t wait to…”
💟 Describe what you are doing or what it feels like. “It feels so good…”
💟 Describe what you just did. “Did you like the way I…”

These are all sexy ways to give feedback and share desires. Have fun!

(Note: Technically that’s the end of part one. But she sent me what I will save for part two of this Internet Cybersex Fest! I know, it so hot!! Until then, see ya in the funny papers!)

Photo by Eren Li on Pexels.com look ma, i having cybersex!!!!

Every so often, I get a friend request on Facebook, I know I shouldn’t accept, they always lead to heart break, cut down too soon before they are executed or something.

They always start out the same, I hit accept, and a few minutes later, there’s a message, HELLO! HOW ARE YOU? MY NAME IS ______! I am happy to meet you!

99.9 percent of the time, the conversation soon turns.

“Do you have Hangout?”

I don’t. I should add that to my profile but these folks never ever read the profile, they just want to get to the romance quickly.

Today’s love of the moment is Tsegay Araya.

She and I were destined to be, but Facebook is a jealous monster and well, you shall see in our conversation.

Her messages are in the red, mine are in blue.

Chat Conversation Start 

You’re friends on Facebook 

Lives in Washington D.C. 

8:52 AM 

Hello how are you doing today? 

Just awful. How about you? 

Am fine nice to meet you and where are you from 

The moon. Where are you from? 

Am from Washington Dc 

And you are you happy married with kids? 

Very cool. No kids, or married, I semi-not suicidal. How about? Married with kids? 

Am single never been married? 

How old are you? 

125. 

What do you mean 

That’s my age. How old are you? 

38 AND YOU 

I’m old. Like millions of years old. nodding You are cute. 

Thanks 

What do you do for a living? 

I am an assassin. You? 

Am doing my nursing service 

Have you ever been dated online before 

Oh my yes. Met the love of my life online, Banana, but she split on me. How about you? 

You the only person i have meeting here am new person here how long have you been here 

Very long time, I forget, been online for billions of years, since the early days, when chat was pure text and cybersex was orange juice on a stick. So are you looking for dating and more? 

Am looking for a serious relationship 

Me too! Me too! So do you believe in long, prolonged deprivation of the senses? 

Are you on hangout? 

Yes are you on hangout? 

*Her profile was removed because of verification before I could respond – “TAKE ME NOW YOU FOOL!!!” Stupid Facebook* 

And hence ended that love story, it was quick but very sweet. Till next time…I am…..ME!!!!

In the beginning, there was nothing,
And God created a monkey holding a lantern,
And he named it light,
And it was good,
Unless you were trying to sleep,
Then it sucked,
So God created curtains,
And that was good,
Except, where were the windows?
And God said, let there be windows,
And that was good,
Except there was no house,
Logically, you need a house,
The monkey said,
And God agreed,
So he made a house,
But who would live in the house?
I will, the monkey said, but God said no,
Monkeys live in trees,
And he created man,
And man said, I going to get awfully lonely in there,
So God created porn,
In the beginning porn was pretty lame,
So God created woman,
And it was good,
Then God said,
This is sin,
Do not touch it,
Shake it twice,
You’re doing nice,
Shake it more,
Burn in Hell,
And man and woman have been sinning ever since…..

A couple of weeks ago, I got bored, I didn’t feel like writing poetry, nor did I feel like writing a fictional story from the prospective of my belly button and my blogger.com sites were feeling left out, so I decided to create a whole new project—–

https://moviereviewomg.blogspot.com/THE ONLY MOVIE REVIEW SITE YOU’LL EVER NEED!! (Click to go to the general site) So far, there’s four movies, of such greatness, you’ll be amazed that you have never heard of them.

This site has been decreed by Facebook to be abusive so it has blocked me from sharing the links (Dark Web kinda hacker site I guess. I do hit some ‘naughty’ pirate sites to find these movies, there’s no way I’m going to pay hard earned nickels and pennies to share my thoughts and feelings and mockery of said films.

Tonight’s movie fest was called Monster: The Prehistoric Project and it’s a classic from Tomcat Films LLC — a film company that is known for it’s wonderful take on big hit movies with a close enough name to confuse people into thinking they are going to watch Jurassic Park or something.

This film directed and acted in by Lisa Palencia is a masterpiece, a combination of Jurassic Park, Girls gone Wild, Blair Witch Project and X-File.

This should have been picture of the year at the Academy Awards 2016 but Hollywood is fickle pickle and needs its art spoon fed to them.

To read my “Full body synopsis/review” of this film —- click here —- and enjoy.

There’s even a link to the full 1 hour and 20 minutes of greatness that is this movie.

If you can stand the intense action that is!! Buhahahahaha!!!

I kid. The movie is bad.

But the acting is good!

Haha! I kid, just awful!!!

Internet Movie Database gave this movie like 1.5 stars out of 10. But what do they know!!

Go watch with somebody you love.

Like your mom.

She’ll probably hate you and disown you but who cares, you only live once right?

Right!

A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE LAST 8 YEARS: Thanks for the reminder WordPress!

Apparently, 8 years ago today, I registered for a WordPress account.

I don’t really remember registering that long ago; feels like it was just yesterday.

April 16th, 2011 – I don’t remember much about it, to be truthfully honest.

A lot of things happened in that 8 years; big changes, for both me and how I see, feel and.or interact in this world.

The biggest was my wifey; my soul mate, passed away on December 19th, 2012.

That was the moment I discovered there was a God and he was a pissed off old man who really loved to fuck with his children.

When my wife died, it turned me from a depressed poet to an extremely depressed alcoholic poet.

Other things happened; loves drifted into my life, then drifted back out, I wasn’t their cup of tea, or they weren’t mine; one came into my life, and she’s still here, I think for my wit, I know it’s not for my face.

I moved back home to Butte, Montana after my wife passed away(I had met her online back in 1996 and moved to Indiana in 1998) after spending 15 years in Southern Indiana, across the Ohio River from Louisville, Kentucky.

In 2015 my mom decided she had enough of this world and passed away.

Then in 2016, my dad, a year and a week after my mom, he too said pfft on this earthly realm and passed away.

The state, because my dad was on Medicaid to support his habit of living in a nursing home for a few years as the V.A. felt he could walk fine with just one leg (lost to diabetes) and didn’t pay, took my folks’ house away after they passed away.

Truthfully honest, they got the short end of the stick as my dad’s bills had amounted up to about $170,000 from 3 years in the nursing home and other health issues.

The state got about $27,000 from the sale of the house, after back taxes, and such.

After losing the parent’s house (my second time in my life losing a house—the first being me and the wifey’s in foreclosure in 2012! 2012 was a very bad year!!) I ended up homeless in 2017.

A few months with friends.

Living for about a month and half under a tree.

A couple of days in a motel room in Butte, Montana spread through out those spring and summer months, drinking Black Velvet, writing a few pieces, documented here on WordPress if you wander down my 8 years of work here.

I moved back to Louisville, Kentucky where I still am, doing better, my lover helping me regroup, rethink.

We’ve been together for over two years as lovers; friends, meeting at a riverboat casino as team members, for over twenty years.

She almost gets me.

Then I change the rules.

She hates it when I change the rules.

God thought I was too happy; getting back on my feet, so he took my best friend in 2018, about two weeks before Christmas.

One of those; he was my brother from another mother and father, over 20 years of friendship.

HOW AND WHY I WRITE: Kids don’t try this at home!

People wonder why most of my poems are mostly about depression; death; dying; etc. etc. etc.

Strangely, as I’ve tried to explain to these people; most of the time, I am beyond happy when I write these pieces.

I guess there’s a person who I’ve named Dylan who sits in my brain; that depressed poet, with a bottle of whiskey, who decides he needs to write or he’ll truly go mad and do something stupid.

It’s the only way I can explain it.

I wrote a piece tonight that is basically a man preparing to kill himself; I wrote the piece, perfectly happy, perfectly sober.

I was watching the movie Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck.

I sat on the couch, the laptop on my lap, the movie playing, and the words came to me.

They definitely are not happy words; if someone who didn’t know me, or didn’t read this piece, read them, without the context of Dylan being an imaginary drunken suicidal poet inside my head, they would call the police and ask for a wellness check on me.

I also write silly pieces; those wits and wisdoms that will be found when I die, people will read them, thinking it’ll explain me, but will fail in that attempt, as mostly those are red herrings; unfruitful clues to the real me.

Truthfully honest, I wear many masks, even while writing. I can be joking; which I mostly do, and be crying the entire time.

I guess from what I’ve discovered, a lot of the funniest people in the world; the greatest comedians, were also the most depressed.

We only discovered this from their untimely deaths.

Depression is a killer; it has come to me and put its arms around my shoulders a few times; the closest I’ve ever come to trying suicide is right after my wife passed away in 2012.

I stood at the kitchen sink in the apartment where me and my wife had lived; the place where she had died.

It was about 2 weeks after she had passed away; the fog of the events still held her grasp on me, I stood there, washing some dishes, and held a steak knife in my hand, I push my hands into the warm water and held the knife to my wrist.

One easy stroke was all it would take, my brain told me.

But then, thoughts of my sister-in-law coming into that apartment, finding my body, days after losing her only sister, it made me stop.

I couldn’t hurt her or my many friends.

I backed away from the edge.

I cannot say that the thought hasn’t crossed my mind ever again.

It has.

But I keep living; for my friends, my family (blood and acquired through friendships — apparently, I have many sisters! None by blood. One brother by blood but a few by the kinship of the spirit!) and for myself.

I’m a delight!

Many more adventures to write about; more poems to share with you, my dear reader.

So anyways, there’s the how and why I write.

I hope you enjoyed the peek inside my madness.

If you want to read some of my other poems I have on another site, I could use the views over there as well!! HINT! HINT! NUDGE! NUDGE! (earn those pennies baby!!) CLICK ON —–> MY OTHER POETRY SITE <—-

My newest poem, an actual happy poem, is called THE PARADE OF HUMANITY!!

My newest poem, the one I wrote tonight, will be posted over there tomorrow sometime, time for beddy bye!!!

Oh WordPress, you fool, why do you even try to make suggestions to me on what to write about?

50-best-cocktails-insideI take your challenge, you blogging system, that ensnares me into your grip, and 3:30 in the morning, horns outside are blaring, I live a half block from the center of the bar and club scene of Louisville.

“Shaddup lady, I’m writing here!!” I scream at some people for randomness they can talk about later as they eat their 9 dollar breakfast platter from some greasy spoon down the street.

Away from the mean old writer taking his dog out for her nightly pee break.

“Did you see his sleep pants??? Spongebob Squarepants?! Who wears THAT!?” the lady laughs, three cocktails just now hitting her brain.

So here I sit, still wondering what to write about, failing miserably, but my usual poems, stuck on some back burner, slowly simmering away will be back again some time soon, for your devouring eyes to read, hopefully with glee.

But tonight, you get a “Suggestion” post, something delightful to read, perhaps to enjoy, or not, matters your taste I guess.

What will it be about?

A cocktail?

Don’t mind if I do!

Good night sweet men, sweet ladies, those eyes drift close, and I say ado!

Things I have learned throughout my life as a blogger — Advice to the future  or How I learned to love myself in the modern age of Dance

A Look inside a Human Machine by Jason Giecek Human at Large

01/21/2019 – Louisville, Kentucky

I started blogging in 2008 on a site called Open.Salon, it was a fun time activity I began after working at a casino ran by the mob (Or Caesars and later Horseshoe) as an IT worker, breaking computers with a hammer or TNT as they wouldn’t reboot properly.

It was a good time to be alive.

I wrote about the crazy thoughts that poured into my skull and out of my fingers at 3 AM, a thing I still practice today except I don’t stay up that late, usually curling up into a ball in my bed at around 1:30 in the AM, still late for some.

Truthfully honest, I’ve been writing for a lot longer than 2008, I actually been writing my entire life, but, very rarely sharing my tomes, except for one girl I knew back in the third grade.

She laughed at me and that’s when I found out, women are cruel witches put on this planet to make men sad and miserable at their “Short comings!”

I kid.

Some were put on this planet to just run men over in their cars.

Moving on.

I discovered early on that in writing, sad depressive pieces sell better.

Not exactly sure why, maybe people like to read about people having more issues than them.

Happy love stories make them think their lives aren’t as good as the writer’s and it makes them sad whereas, they read a sad story, poetry, etc. and they’re like, “At least I’m not that guy!”

It’s like sad movies, sometimes we just need a good cry, get all the pain out of the system.

I will admit, most of my poetry is sad, depression filled words, from a deep dark place that is called me.

Sometimes when I write such things, I’m in happy land, but just picking at old wounds scabbed up.

For some reasons, we as humans like to pick at scabs, open up old wounds, bring up old memories, things that haunt us as we sleep, dream of old loves, loves that never were, etc. etc.

I really suck at letting go.

I think I get that feature from my mother’s side of the gene pool.

Along with me worrying about things I cannot change.

About the little things.

The big deals usually roll off of my back, becoming fertilizer for my writings, there sitting in some chair at 3 am.

Actually, the little things become good fertilizer as well.

I think everything can be used to grow the imagination, except the news, the news sucks!

Nobody likes to read about current events, unless, it’s a spoof of current events.

People love reading funny things about like Senators and Congressmen and sexy governors in lingerie.

The governor’s name?

Steve.

Anyways, that’s about it, I write to keep from going insane. Well, more insane.

Okay, I write to keep from wandering the streets and get in trouble with the law.

Good night and have a better tomorrow…

December 1st, 2018 — Louisville, Kentucky — Mood: Wha?

Apparently, if something is slightly offensive to a few people, if really any, it’s off the list.

A long time Christmas song has been removed from a radio station’s play list because a few people insist it’s about rape.

In this day and age, anything can be construed as “offensive” and deleted from society because well, we are snowflakes and hurtful things are bad, even the word, “Hello” could be construed as hateful.

Take a look at the make up of the word.

Hell.

Offensive to me, hurts my feelings, people telling me to go to Hell when I enter a room.

Sinful even.

Frosty the Snowman should be removed as well.

First off, Snowman?  How sexist!!!

Then melting the man? We all know that the snowman represents our religious beliefs and are being melted by the Atheists who wrote this song.

Don’t believe me?

Just ask me, I’ll tell you.

I remember back in the day, there were things that offended society, we dealt with them by not listening to them, they usually went away if they were truly offensive.

We lived with bad TV shows, rotten songs, crap movies, even slutty priests and dirty nurses in Penthouse Magazines.

We lived. 

We actually grew up, maybe a little twisted but that could have been the lead paint.

Nowadays, kids do not know the experience of surviving of being nailed with a lawn dart or hearing the Satanic version of Frosty the Snowman, or seeing a priest and a nun naked in Penthouse Magazine.

A sad day indeed.