Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

Hello dear reader,

How are you?

Me, apparently cannot sleep, I’ve been tossing and turning and finally, at 3 am, I decided to stumble into my new, furnitureless living room from my new furnitureless bedroom and write my brain into a tired frenzy so it’ll let me fall fast to sleep.

Sometimes, okay, a lot, my brain decides it wants to think, random crap I can’t change, but bam, why not!

The other night, it decided to throw a girl I had a secret crush on back in elementary school as a “walk on” role in a dream.

It also decide, hey, why not throw a couple of friends in there along with my kid who isn’t even a dirty thought.

Great dream but then I wake up and go, WHAT DA HELL BRAIN?

“I don’t know, it seem right!!” It replies, shrugging as only a brain can only shrug with its lack of shoulders.

If it had eyes, it would have rolled them and said, “Thought you’d like it!!” It sighs, again if it had eyes, it would wink, and grin evily if it had a mouth.

My brain does that weird crap at 2 am, conversates with me, keeping me from sleep, it has done it for a long time, random stuff, things I have no control over, people I miss, people I haven’t thought about in 30 years, but there they are, asking how I am.

“Not too good!” I reply.

So here I sit now, legs crossed, my fingers tapping at my phone’s keyboard, writing poems randomly, letting my brain do its muttering, words flying on screen, hopefully I will fall asleep, 3:30 am, hopefully soon.

I write.

Damn brain, why won’t you calm down?

“Provide the link! To our poetry!”

CLICK HERE TO READ MY RANDOM POETRY – NEWLY MINTED! 3 AM!!

So there, my brain, the link, are you happy now??

“Quite!”

Good night my readers, sleep well…..zzzzzzzz

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Another night, the brain is on overdrive, not really a bad thing; another poem to share with you, my dearest reader.

I call these exercises random writings; self taught madness, visits to that part of my brain that sometimes goes unvisited for years at a time but when I do, I come out with the impression that I’m insane; the doctors were right.

“Bed rest and overmedication is recommended for this patient.”

I was once diagnosed as “Not knowing where he is in reference to time and space” by a school psychologist, who would later be caught giving another “unnamed” male a blow job in a bus station downtown USA!

A great way to end a career I guess.

I digress.

I really don’t know where I am in reference to time and space; whatever the hell that means.

Isn’t it 1972 and I’m in the Land of Flying Monkeys and singing jack asses aka Washington DC?

Thought so stupid misdiagnosis of my insanity!!!

CLICK HERE TO READ A LATE NIGHT RAMBLING – A RANDOM POEM

 No, I won’t try to explain what it means.

It’s possible it means absolutely nothing, or as Sister Mary once said about my poem I submitted in as part of my homework;

Pure crap!! If I could, I would give a lower grade!  Pure randomness which leads to the masturbatory fantasy of a sexual deviant! If you do not change your ways, you will find yourself in Hell at this rate! F!!!!!!!!!

The F was written in huge swooping sweeps of her skeletal hand; all could see, I was going to be trouble; I was a Catholic school flunkee.

Actually, I never made it past the front door of that school, Sister Mary stood at the door way that first day blocking my way.

“I know the Devil’s spawn; YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!”

So with glee, I went to public school where I passed with a C+ in most of my classes except in current events; I flunked that.

So good night my dear readers and have a better tomorrow

 

Hello!

Tonight shared piece comes from my adventures as a homeless grocery store cashier I did back in the summer of 2017.

I kept a journal during those days; was suppose to be a day to day ramblings from that “low point” in my life; but to be truthful, I didn’t keep up and now find myself trying to remember things.

I drank beer and ate chicken I bought at my grocery store.

I sat and talked to folks who wandered into the park; their dogs excited at a chance for a meal of chicken bones and one stealing some of my beer.

“He’s a lush!” his owner, a man named Robert, said, chuckling.

Robert was a 72 year old, half blind man, using the magic of Mary Jane’s girls to keep the peace inside his head, a veteran of the Vietnam War, and peace activist later on.

We’d talk about everything; from politics to landing a sweet young lady who could smother us with a nice soft pillow.

Neither of us would even struggle we both discovered.

Other homeless travelers; looking for work, then moving on, would enter my camp but never stayed as it was just too “Rustic” (no fire pits! It got cold out by the marsh) and they would move on with a wave.

READ ‘THE HOMELESS GUIDE TO LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN’ BY CLICKING HERE!

I learned a few things out there; somethings I already knew but till you experience them, you won’t know the truth.

Most people out there, on the streets, do not want to be homeless.

A lot of them have jobs; the cashiers, cart runners, wait staff, etc.

They just don’t make enough money to be able to afford a place to live.

Yes, there are resources for the homeless but there are just too many of the homeless at one time to be helped quickly.

It’s a problem faced everywhere.

I ended up on a “Waiting List” for housing assistance.

A two year (at least) long waiting list.

This is suppose to be the land of milk and honey but there’s not enough milk nor honey.

Everyone is just one stumble from finding themselves in that same situation; without a home.

I was lucky enough to have friends who provided me a place to stay, to shower, etc.

And only found myself for a little over a month living under the branches of a huge tree in a park.

I was also lucky enough to have a job that paid enough for me to eat; to spend a few days in a cheap motel; where I’d shower, snuggle on the bed, watch cable TV and listen to the hookers next door moan out the song “Give it to me baby!” in D-flat.

(Also thanks to friends who sent me money also!!! Cheap beer is your sleep aide and friend out there on the street sadly!)

Today I am a lucky man; moving into my own place with my lady love, a new adventure, but I will always keep those life lessons learned that summer; never to take for granted those things I have; to cherish my friendship and to aid my fellow man when it comes time.

Yes, my dear readers, there are the career homeless; those who stay out there; for whatever reason but for the most part, the people out there are just like you; they just  stumbled and fell; they had the jobs, the houses.

In a lot of places; the homeless are treated as nothing more than animals; chased away, caged, stomped on, bused away to become other peoples’ problems.

The homeless shelters closed; for different reasons.

Attempts to start another one; up to code, are foiled by NOT IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD mentality.

Sadly, the homeless are already in the neighborhoods.

The screams of “Get a job” coming from the mouths of haters; hot coffee thrown into peoples’ faces as they beg or say nothing.

“Trash!” some folks yell, the same folks who call themselves “Good Christians”

The “Trash” at some point in their life before this new chapter were “Productive Citizens” with good jobs, beautiful homes, now reduced to a beaten dog, trying to find their way out of the mire of this homeless life.

Something needs to be done; no one in this country should be homeless or go hungry.

No child should go to bed with an empty stomach.

Everyone should have a bed and a pillow to lay their head; a basic human need you soon discover being a homeless person.

There is no excuse…..

 

 

02/25/2018 – Someplace on the Planet Earth

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Dear sirs and madams,

Hi!

How are you?

I keep waking up breathing, which according to the doctors, is a good thing.

“Yay for waking up breathing!” cheers the nurses who stand by to stick me in the arm, to draw my blood, that life force that keeps me breathing, I guess.

I’m not a doctor though.

I’m barely a human being; just the skin and such, to make me able to walk among the hairless apes unseen by their unintelligent eyes.

If they saw my true form, they would still go about their daily business.

CLICK HERE FOR MY NEWEST POEM – INFORMED INSANITY – A POEM TO READ IN A CLOSET WHILE THE DEVIL STEALS YOUR BUILDING BLOCKS

So, after my ordeal of being pricked and prodded, I lay here, half naked, a flimsy robe covering my nakedness, the nurse coming in on the hour to see if I need a sleeping pill.

Oh no you don’t mind sucking demon from the Planet X’Neon!!! I’m on to you.

I’ll stay up and write, to tell the outside world about you, to tell them how you steal minds, put them in jars, to sell to the Martians or trade Iranians for free porn on Craigslist.

I’m on to you!!!

EAT LASERS ALIEN SCUM!!!

My fingers are registered deadly weapons in 17 universes and 23 alternate universes, including this one.

You just don’t know you’re dead!!

Ha ha!! FOOLS!!!!

Do you know, that, when a cat shows you their belly, you should scratch it?

This tells the Universe, I’M DONE, I’m so gone, I don’t care if the cat kills me!!

And the cat will respond by purring or stealing your wallet and go on a spending spree!!

Stupid cat.

I only have  a $1.95!!

Anyways think it’s time to fall asleep, to meet her there in dreamland.

She knows who she is!!!

Your friend,

ME!

 

 

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2/21/2018 – Somewhere

I’m up for the count, just sitting here in the kitchen, listening to some music, wrote a poem for my other blog, it seem like the good thing to do, another sad, depressing shit random fest I like to do, just sit down, and begin typing, letting the words flow from my mind.

Click here for Broadway and Filth – A Poem

Still sitting here, 1:30 in the am, the darkness is deep and black, no moon.

Thoughts are crossing my mind.

THE ODE TO THE HOMELESS LIFE: Written in the summer, while I was homeless for a few weeks, just a taste of that life, enough for me, to lay down on the ground, to stare into the night sky, the stars my company.

THE ODE TO THE HOMELESS LIFE – A POEM

…The ground, your bed,
The sky, your covers.
Live life as you live it,
Not as you wish,
Take each breath,
A gift from God.

In the still of the night,
I lay here,
Wishing to sleep,
To dream,
That of green fields,
A soft bed to lay my body,
A pillow to lay my head,
A quilt to cover me.

I am tired,
But alas,
I cannot sleep!

 

02/08/2018 – Hello!

So I’ve been trying to revive one of my old blogs; a place just to write, poetry mostly, and hope to make a few pennies maybe in the process.

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My newest piece can be found here — A SUICIDE NOTE TO THE WORLD – A POEM

It definitely is not one of my happiest poems but it just kind of came out of me and I wrote it down as quickly as I could.

To note, I’m not really suicidal, more depressed than I’ve been in awhile but not enough to go jump in front of a bus!! 😀

Anyways, it is getting late, almost 1:30 in the morning, and thinking it may be time for a nap.

A quick bit of poetry for here just to make this worth the time to hit PUBLISH!! 😀

In the night, she does dance,
Diamonds in her eyes,
Kingdom in the sky,
A glance at the madness,
Her love,
Sweet kiss,
Lay down upon the bed of light,
To awake in as a dream,
Good night…

 

 

8bcd009d61b58af6021d6fe29c4042f1I believe that we were born to die; a journey that starts here, end there, and in between, oh what a ride.

Settle in; grab on to something, fly down the mountain trail, into the valley below, stopping at the sea, to see, what there is to see, randomize the letters to form coherent thoughts; lies, dreams?

Hell if I know, the world keeps spinning even if I ain’t on it; testify!

Falling to pieces; in the middle of a suicide, dreamers on tripping; falling forward, striking the canvas with their teeth; with their minds; lost in a nightmare, 1983!

Everyone was sleeping; in a box, tops, mother was dying in the hospital, Intensive care; I held her hand as she slipped away to another land; the next year, father took the journey into the stars.

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I started to drink; before the light began to rise from the horizon, the rising of the sun; my mind spitting out words to the page; glint of moon light dancing across the walls; sparkles of madness rising from the ocean waves; singles of dances moving across the heaven; the dying of the mind, that last breath, before the last step, into the night.

I took another drink.

I fell from the grace; my hands torn from oblivion, I do not want to leave, I do not want to die; not like this, a poison in the veins of society, a lost loser, worthy of nothing.

I destroy everything I am giving.

I stand; the room is a grand ballroom miniaturize to elf size.

I’m trapped here inside my mind; reliving the horrors of life, one second at a time, losing my mind one memory at a time, shit, bricks, flying down the rabbit hole, before the great crash into the ground.

Fly?

Falling?

Where was I?

I cannot remember!

Signed,

Me