Posts Tagged ‘Suicide’

Riding the high road to Hell again,
My soul drifting through a drunken fever dream,
Lost among the waves,
Hands held up,
Trying to find a way.

Life is just an unanswered dream,
An unsung song,
In that field,
Laughing,
As the disease rolls on,
tLaying in a dimly lit,
Hospital room.

Daddy’s crying,
Mommy’s dying,
Long time ago,
Sweet lies,
We believe,
We dare hope,
Are right.

Born to lose,
Oh why,
In Heaven’s name,
Does God hate me so?

Down into the darkness,
Of that last embrace,
Time stood still,
As the Heaven took them all away,
Memories reappear,
In dimly lit,
Nightmares,
Looking through a broken mirror,
A dream,
A memory,
Lies from the mind?

Fuck this world,
I want to get off,
Shit happens for a reason,
Even when we feel like we want to die,
Maybe,
I am still alive,
Cause I didn’t want to die,
Too many people care about me?

Driving down a lonely road,
The wind blowing through my life,
Good night…

Advertisement

Madness – A POEM

Posted: July 17, 2020 in poems, POETRY
Tags: , , , ,

/

Oh madness,
My madness,
Embrace me in that sweet night,
To hold me,
Oh deep,
I wait by the phone,
Dare to sleep,
You may call,
My deep,
Passionate,
Madness,
Oh sweet,
I weep,
The phone does not ring,
I hear,
Nothing,
Madness,
Oh madness,
Call me my madness,
Dare I sleep?
I dare not,
To miss your voice,
In that grain of chance,
You may call,
My madness,
My soul,
My life,
To die,
Would be magic,
If you were to hold me,
Dear madness,
Oh madness,
Call me dear,
Sweet words,
From your lips,
No dear,
No tears,
Oh madness,
Dear madness…

Suicide is worthless

Posted: February 10, 2020 in love
Tags: , ,

I just wanted to write you,
To tell you,
I am okay,
I am doing great,
I don’t feel like,
Harming myself,
Today.

I want to call you,
Tell you I’m doing okay,
To tell you I’m not waging wars,
Against myself,
I love you,
I care about you,
I think I’ll be fine.

I wanted to write,
Tell you I love you,
But not a bunch,
You are my heart,
And my life,
Please don’t worry,
I am still alive,
Even with a sad heart.

That morning sun – A Poem

Posted: September 12, 2019 in poems, POETRY
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Into that night we went, our eyes held tightly shut against the darkness, it was as if the Earth had wept, flooding her skin, killing the viruses that made their life there.

The sun would not rise,
To set the plains a glow in rage,
The dying of that life,
Was eternally disgraced,
To see,
To hear,
That moment in time,
Orgasmic release,
Seed,
To grow,
To be born,
To live,
To love,
To wither,
To die,
To be born again.

We were young,
Alive,
But dying just the same,
That moment in time,
Our life,
We showed them,
We would not be discouraged,
As we raged,
Against the yokes,
Of great burden,
To live,
To not be burdened,
To weep,
Great joyous tears,
Good night,
Sweet life,
My love,
Till we wake again that day,
To greet the morning sun.

Silence in the rain,
The pain ceases with the slice of the razor blade,
Madness sitting here in silence,
Darkness in a brightly lit room,
Tears hidden behind a mask,
I should have told the world,
What was going on,
Now that soul is gone.

Wishes drift away,
Dissolve there in the rain,
To flow down streams of blood,
To disappear into a haze,

Wandering through streets,
Waiting for that death,
That seems not to come,
I write,
A letter to the universe,
Hello?
Depression settles into the mind,
A note left,
To fight,
Or to leave,
That is the question.

Good night…

Dear world,

I get it, I now know I must have killed a shitload of babies in a previous life and it shows, possibly millions.

I regret it now.

I really do.

If I kill myself today would that pay it off?

Or would the shit roll into the next life?

People don’t realize how close I am to saying fuck it and end it all. I wear my funny mask but inside, I’m ready.

So fucking ready.

So very fucking ready.

Your friend,

Walter

P.S. tell Laura I love her. Or maybe it’s lust…..

Reach into that madness,
Where the cancer grows,
Polluting that system,
Pull it out,
Throw it into the raging sun,
He returns to that horrid place,
That madness,
He does not reach out,
His mind a race,
Taken out,
His busted mouth,
He lies there,
Broken,
On the ground,
The sun,
A red orb,
Burning flesh,
Blinding eyes,
Burning that soul,
Oh damn Hallow Earth,
How I curse thee,
From fruited plains,
To purple mountain,
Fuck your streams,
Your bodies,
Your souls,
I spit on you,
I denounce you,
Rage!
Death!
Dying to that will of that sight.

I cut the blade of grass,
As I cut my wrists,
Straight and true,
And to the bone,
I do not die,
I do not live,
I lay there in the shining sun,
An orb of white against the blue,
A beauty star,
A sin to God,
To shine so brightly.

He could see the madness in the sky,
The stars blazing a series of written code,
Astral subjects drawn out in twilight of that green and gold scrolling across his eyes.

There was no way to hear,
The voices were silenced,
His eyes,
Could not see,
Except what he was allowed to see,
His mouth was sewn shut,
He did not need to eat or speak.

His mind,
Oh great madness,
Drilling through his body,
Worthlessness,
Hopelessness,
Dying to be set free from that hollow body,
Supported by the machines,
Breathe in,
Pump blood,
Breathe out,
Repeat.
Death has a dignity,
All its own,
He had been told as a child,
Before the sweeping character of war,
Ripped his choices away,
Now how he wish he could scream,
Let me go,
Mother,
Can you hear me?
I want to die,
Please let me!

How could he tell if he was asleep,
Was this life,
Or just a dream?
Waking up,
He could not see,
Nothing could be real,
Even the pain was such a relief!

He would scream,
Scream,
Like that young children trying to break free,
The one in that field,
Running free,
His mother picking him up,
Twirling him around,
That child,
Laughing,
Laughing all around,
Was this a dream?
His sanity left him,
This was his reality,
This room,
Over medicated,
Wishing he could kill himself,
But only pissing himself.

The doctors say he is making progress.

Home fires are burning,
Still burning,
Come home little boy,
Come home!

He didn’t leave a note, he didn’t have any time…

Note:

Many years ago, I wrote another version of this poem, I lost that copy, it was on some site, written down in a note book I kept, lost the site, as sites do close, and the notebook?

Who knows!

Johnny’s on the bathroom floor, 
He doesn’t stir a beat,
He doesn’t even hardly breathe,
Dreaming,  
Of a better place, 
Eyes wide open, 
Staring up at the ceiling,
He hears the voices,
He hears someone screaming,
He doesn’t care anymore, 
Sister tries the door, 
Tries to break it down, 
He’s just there, 
Lying on the floor, 
Dreaming of a better place,
Dreaming of a better time,
He’s high,
Flying,
Above it all, 
He just there, 
Lying on the bathroom floor, 
Sister opens up the door, 
But it’s too late, 
Johnny’s on the bathroom floor, 
He doesn’t care anymore, 
He is flying above it all, 
His soul free, 
His body just lying there on the floor. 

He packed his bags,
To leave that sorry world behind,
The mindless song played inside his head,
One long overdone note at a time,
His fingers tapping longingly on the hard wood table.

He wished there had been a short cut home;
To go back,
In time,
In space,
To change the fabrics of reality,
To flee this,
Darkened reality,
To see those stars,
In glamorous flight,
Was it not that right,
Of man,
To feel right in his skin?

There in the night,
He wrote that final note,
“To those I love,
I leave thee serenity,”
He cocked the gun and said good night…