The Bible as Written by A Daft Man — Genesis 98.1 — A Poem

In the beginning, there was nothing,
And God created a monkey holding a lantern,
And he named it light,
And it was good,
Unless you were trying to sleep,
Then it sucked,
So God created curtains,
And that was good,
Except, where were the windows?
And God said, let there be windows,
And that was good,
Except there was no house,
Logically, you need a house,
The monkey said,
And God agreed,
So he made a house,
But who would live in the house?
I will, the monkey said, but God said no,
Monkeys live in trees,
And he created man,
And man said, I going to get awfully lonely in there,
So God created porn,
In the beginning porn was pretty lame,
So God created woman,
And it was good,
Then God said,
This is sin,
Do not touch it,
Shake it twice,
You’re doing nice,
Shake it more,
Burn in Hell,
And man and woman have been sinning ever since…..

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