Posts Tagged ‘Political Humor’

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Bear was bored so today, he decided to call The President aka Donald “The Tweet” Trump, the 45th President of the United States of the Fucking America!!!

“Hello? Is this THE PREZ?”

“It sure is!!!! Who is this?”

“This is Bear!!”

10-donald-trump-debate.w750.h560.2xAfter some polite chit chat and exchanging recipes for salmon stew vs. Trump’s delicious crow pie, we began the interview with some hard hitting questions!

Bear: What inspired you to run for President?

Trump: Good question, to the meat of the issue without striking bone in the first round, waiting for the next question for the kill shot. The best!!

Well, let me reply in like by giving you the best answer ever.gop-2016-trump

The people, out there, chanting MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!! That inspired me to not only run but to win, I am the Choice that the American people made and wanted.

Bear: Actually Mr. President, you lost the popular vote and won by the Electoral vote.

Trump: FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS!!! I STILL WON!!! I AM THE PEOPLES’ PRESIDENT!!!! Next question!

Bear: Okay, who are your heroes, living or dead?

china_trump_trademarks_70301-jpg-f8dba_550679227a1881ca317cb1375afd41ef.nbcnews-ux-2880-1000Trump: Again, great question, thank you for this opportunity to get to the meat of the issue, to delve into my, better regions of my personality.

Bear: You’re welcome.

Trump: My heroes have always been the outsiders, the men and women who stand outside the box, draining the swamp, and keeping America great, not like that Prez Obama who, my sources say, great sources, just the best, wasn’t even born in this country, but in a place called Hawaii!!

Bear: Uhm, Hawaii is a state sir.

Trump: NO IT’S NOT!!! NO IT’S NOT!! FAKE NEWS!!! Next you’ll try to tell me New Mexico is a state!

Bear: It is.

gop-2016-trumpTrump: LIAR!!!!! LIBERAL MEDIA FRONT TRYING TO RUIN ME!!!! SECOND STRIKE!!! ONE MORE, AND YOU’RE OUTTA HERE!!!!

Bear: Okay, some people are calling you a racist ass wipe and that you should be impeached.  Your reply.

Trump: I can say I am not a racist nor an ass wipe! I pee standing up!!! My gardener happens to be colored!

Bear: Uh, think calling them “Colored” is a racist term sir,

Trump: IS NOT! IS NOT!!! FAKE NEWS!!! FAKE NEWS!! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!!!!

The phone went dead and Bear was left with five more questions unanswered.

  1. What kind of pie do you like?
  2. Do you like pussy cats?
  3. What color is the sky in your world?
  4. Briefs or boxers
  5. Who wrote the Book of Love?

Guess we’ll never know.

Senator Mitch McConnell apparently takes long bathroom breaks as he was unavailable every time we called him.

Stay tune next week when we interview a drunk at the bus stop we met today!!!

 

 

 

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WANDERING WHERE I AM A GOING – Day 54,832 – PRICE: FREE!!!

5/21/2017 – We not sure, it could be Space?

Did President Trump bow to Saudi King?

685748744-president-donald-trump-receives-the-order-of-abdulaziz.jpg.CROP.promo-xlarge2President Donald Trump is on his inaugural first world trip as El Presidente of the United States of Confusion, first stop Saudi  Arabia, sometime friend, sometime enemy, sometime that weird neighbor who screws our wife but hey, who cares, they have a really nice camel!

Some voices of the media are wondering aloud,

“Did Donald bow, curtsy or do some dance as the King placed a medal of something over the Prez’ head?”

Looking at the pictures we found on Google, it looks like the president is in some sort of strange collaring ceremony.

“I collar you, My slave, a slave’s name shall be putz!!!!” King Abu-Dabaa-Doo says.

Actually we here didn’t really notice, we were too busy wondering what North Korea was going to wear to the big dance later on this summer!

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“Blue jeans and hot pink shirt!!! We very happy Bear!!! Bye!!!”

Of course, back in 2012, then just Donald tweeted, “Do we really want a Prez bowing to the Saudis!?” in reference to President Obama’s own visit to Saudi Arabia then.

But different times, different something, maybe we lost in Wonderland.

Or Fargo, North Dakota.

So here we are in 2017, hoping for cookies and getting shit pies!!!

Our President Trump is now slave boy putz!

But we get cheap oil right?

Right?

Putz’ stocks go up?

Fuck!!!

Good night and have a better tomorrow!

 

 

10:46 PM – 5/16/2017: Butte, Montana

It’s dark outside and raining.

Soon, according to the weather man, the rain will turn to snow.

We’re under a winter storm watch.

Welcome to the spring times in the Rockies, it’s a great place to live but not if you like the warm tropical breezes.

I guess you can pretend, sit out on a snow bank and pretend it’s a nice comfy beach.

Frost bite just doesn’t equate to sun tan, trust me on that!!!

I’m sitting here watching The Golden Girls and listening to some YouTube.

Andrew_Jackson-ABI wanted to post something less political than my last few other blogs.

I know there’s stuff happening over there in Washington, DC.

Our president, Donald Trump, in his late night wanderings around the White House is probably throwing his hands in the air, ranting to the ghost of Andrew Jackson.

“Why won’t they like me, Mr. Jackson?” he says pounding the desk in front of him

“I don’t know!! Maybe it’s your face!” Andrew replies, sipping a diet Coke.

President Jackson was apparently a dick in life, so what do you expect from him in death.

I know I said this blog entry was going to be less political but I can’t help it.

It’s just so much easier to write about the current political mess than it is to write about my feelings, my depression, my love of musical theater.

18556267_10158871450295294_5078773635501260390_nI may do that soon, like, my reviews on plays and stuff, if I ever go out to plays and such.

Maybe soon, I’ll hit the movies again, with my imaginary friends, like Anna Lope.

She’s a cool mounted head of a antelope who loves war movies!!

“I love it when the tanks roll, the bombs burst in air, and Tom Cruise comes to rescue me!”

But for tonight, here I sit, in a lounge recliner, watching Fraiser now, Combichrist – Everybody Hates You Full album Disc 1 is playing from YouTube – This Shit will fuck you up.

Sounding like a sound track of my life, this shit WILL fuck you up, like reading my blog, your mind will melt, you will see stuff, like ghosts, spirits, Ann Landers on acid, etc. etc.

I don’t even know what I’m writing about tonight, it’s just stuff drifting inside my head, the weird stuff, the normal stuff, life is there, wondering what I should do now, where should I go from here, maybe Detroit?

Well, okay, maybe not Detroit, though it does have some cheap housing.


Am I enjoying life?


6548847483_8dea35ddc9_bI don’t know how to answer that question.

I’m trying to be a happier individual, someone that people enjoy being around, rather, like my ex, running away from me in terror as I approach them.

I’m a people person, I like people!!

Not really, I tolerate people, for the most part, and they tolerate me.

I haven’t killed anyone, that can be proven, by a court of law.

I did write a blog dedicated to Jack Kerouac – found here ->

Jack Kerouac: Where are you now? A retrospect of my life in words and music.

I’ve also written horrible poetry and song lyrics which one can be found here —–>

PHOTOGRAPH: MEMORIES AS SUNG IN A DREAM

Here I sit, wondering what the next adventure should be, where should I go, down the hill or up the mountain?

Where should I go?

To Hell or back?

I try to keep my mask on, to never let the general public see me cry, try to keep the happy clown mask on.

Why?

Guess it’s just how I am!

87b613ba42b812669526d2f389f55082How the voices in my head want me to be, they don’t want the doctors coming around, to quiet them.

“Shaddup Jason! Don’t let them see you, as the real you! They’ll put you away into the nut house!! We no wanna go there!!”

Choirs in my head, nobody wants to go in there, inside my head.

I have a feeling President Donald Trump is the same way, no one wants to go inside his head either.

Hell, I know I don’t want to be inside my own head, which is what makes this blog so great, you, the reader get to come on inside without going inside!!

Selective travels!!

Come hear the voices inside my head!!!!

I’ll try to write more here than I have in the past!!!

As the real me!!!

The drag queen!

Anyways, another good night and have a better tomorrow!!!

What did President Donald Trump tell the Russians?

May 15th, 2017

Donald_Trump_official_portrait_(cropped)Apparently The United States President is in the headlines once more again this hour.

Apparently, President Donald Trump, according to some source, revealed classified information to some Russians during their visit last week.

What was revealed?

“Nothing! It’s fake news!!” President screams from the Oval Office, where he’s Tweeting even now as we type this up.

He’s a big Twitter fan!!

But we here at Wandering Where I’m Going decided to investigate into this whole shit ball and went straight to the horse’s mouth.

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“Hello Russian Media!!! You were allowed into the Oval Office last week, what was discussed between President Trump and uh, the Russians?”

“Hello Black Bear, we are big fans of your blog!! You tell truth, so shall we, it was discussed about your lovely Detroit, Michigan!! And your delightful little ham sandwiches with spicy mustard!!”

“Is that all?”

“ISIS may have been discussed but only in reference to ‘Who has the best looking women’s basketball team!?'”

“That sounds feasible!!! So the main stream media is just trying to make something out of nothing!?”

Russian Media sighs and hangs their head.

“You’re not telling us the whole story are you?”

“No! We can’t!!! Your weird delusional president will kill us if we tell you the whole story!!”

“Come on, we’re friends here, tell us! Tell us!!”

“Your President Trump told our government, he LOVES SPAM!!!”

**GASP**

You read it here first my friends, President Donald Trump LOVES Spam.

With pineapple.

**MORE GASPS**

So no investigation into Trump’s ties to Russia is needed!!

President Trump said nothing classified!!!

If you believe that, I have a bridge for sale for you in New York City, and if you buy it today, I’ll throw in the Statue of Liberty in for free!!

CHEAP!!!!

The current President of the United States is digging a hole, deeper and deeper and the more he screams, “FAKE!!” the worst he makes himself look, I’d say even making himself look like a traitor to the country he’s suppose to be the leader of.

But what do I know, I’m a bear!

He won’t even reply to my requests for an interview but will allow Russian media folks into the Oval Office.

I now know how CNN feels!

It sucks!!!

I thought I’d never say this about a President of the United States, but, YOU MR. TRUMP SUCK ASS!!!!

There, I said it!!! And he can suck a fart outta my big bear ass!!!

Good night and have a better tomorrow!!!