The Jester

I was homeless once, a jester on the street, the men would walk pass me, they wouldn’t stare at me, was there anyone out there, looking towards me, a tired soul, trying to figure out life, as I slept under a tree, no party on either side would address me.

I voted, only reason I was a number was when it came time for them to care. Either Republican or Democrat, sent me emails asking me for donations when I was working as a union member at $8.50 an hour, I told them, both sides, fuck you, I got not enough to afford an apartment, neither side cared, both sides begged for money.

What could I say, what could I do?

Tears on my shoes, I was a worthless life, not even begging life a congressman or a presidential candidate!

To slip into that last morning dawn’s early light

We laid there, our souls facing the rising sun,
To feel those rays, into our bodies,
Into our minds,
To feel its grace,
The dying inside of us,
Wanted out,
But could not be free,
As the meat survived.

We wept in memories,
Of those who had gone before,
Way too soon,
Wept the mourners at Jerry’s wake,
He died of cancer at 23.
Who really wants to live forever,
In some never ending horror fever dream?
Lost loves,
To God’s embrace they say,
Screw God, give them back to me!

A DIRE NEED FOR ACID RAIN: A POEM

I don’t want to feel the shame,
To feel the same,
Don’t want to be in pain,
Ashamed,
Inside myself,
Feeling rage,
Against the stage,
Trying to stop the wars,
Inside myself,
A memory,
Of whispers,
A sigh,
In that rain,
Against the broken showers,
In a tower,
A nightmare,
Of dancing metal frames.

I held your face,
In my hands,
A dream of breathing shallow,
It was my decision,
Oh how I kill myself for it,
To pull that plug,
My dear love,
To live with that decision,
I fell to pieces,
That unholy day.

1684,
Number on the door,
Wine,
Drunk like water,
To drive that madness away,
Angry young men,
Waiting for the end,
A somber moment,
Oh drifting softly by,
To see,
That sea,
Oh hairy lies,
To feel alive,
In cosmic lights,
Drifting through angels,
Alive,
Oh beauty,
Oh father,
Oh mother,
Dying
On the vine,
A herald,
To hear,
A final sigh,
Angry young fucks,
Crying in the night,
Blasphemy,
In midnight hour,
To revel,
In made up words,
Of life,
Lies,
And simple things!

HIGH: A Poem

I laid there,
Melting there into the carpet,
A dream like trance,
A nightmare in fantasy land,
I felt the world spinning around me,
Chaos,
Madness,
Jesus was there,
Melting into Heaven’s gate with me,
We were souls,
Drifting through time and space.

The light began to fade,
I still thought I was a shrimp,
In a stormy sea,
Being eaten by Moby Dick,
Oh Henry,
My Henry,
Did you see the dying of the light?
Margie died,
Last night,
Cancer took her brain,
She was only 45.

I tried to stand,
But fell back to my knees,
Wasn’t a prayer I uttered from my dry lips,
Cursed be to any God,
As Jesus swore the same,
We’d never die again!

Heard: A POEM

There in the darkness,
A light did try to slay,
The madness swirling around in their heads,
The world was still young in her eyes,
Fly the morning light,
To break that cursed pain,
To be seen,
To be heard,
To know the touch,
Of love,
Boiling deep inside,
There was no time,
Now that father is dead,
That scene,
Took his own life,
I found him there,
Hanging in the attic.

Prayers of Saints,
Do they even hear?
I pray,
I pray again,
Do they even care?

A Practice in Life: A Random Poem

Ice cold beer,
What the fuck are we doing here?
Mother is dying, somewhere,
Maybe father knows where?

Trumpets blues,
Harvard and 9th,
Jesus died for somebody’s sin,
Who here is revealing sins?

July 12th,
World is pulling apart,
Reaching for the top,
While sinking to the bottom.
We were standing there,
Waiting for a bus,
Never comes,
Doesn’t say much,
For our transportation!

Rust,
Lost in trust,
Who here has a buck?

Gives a fuck?

Balloons falling through the waterfall,
We cannot see the bottom,
Trust faith?
Die before you hit the floor.

Type,
Type,
Words on the screen,
Jesus,
Who sees?
Who hears?
The blind lead the dead.

Random Confusion: A POEM

The year was 1997 and everyone was dead.
Welcome to the future kids,
Come on,
Stay awhile,
Everyone driving Buicks through the desert!
Welcome to the madhouse,
Nobody gets out alive,
The world is an oyster,
Flying through a cloud,
Distant memories, stacked,
Like cement blocks on our graves,
I love you Rio,
Bravo,
Cheap sheets on a broken bed,
Mama can you hear me crying in the storm?

The man was a great man,
So the pastor says as he performs the last rite,
He’ll be missed,
Dissed?
He’ll be something.
A writer?
Nah, too fat,
Writers have to be skinny,
Hungry,
Haven’t ate in days,
Weeks?
They should be high,
Write!
See the sea?
No?
Lie!!
The waves rolled in,
To the sandy beach,
And we all laughed,
Ha!
Red balloons falling from the sky,
Jesus ain’t here,
Come on Jack!
Come on back!

Heaven is a chocolate bar: A Poem

Heaven is a chocolate bar.

Hell is no toilet paper after you shit yourself.

Pondering, early morning, as I watch The Andy Warhol Diaries, because it’s quiet in the house now; the monsters still sleeping, 5:37 AM.

I had a dream; no unity or mountain tops, no tables full of foods of all delights, just a dream, Andy was there, he told me I should make THE movie, about queer steers in Spain mocking angry young politicians.

He then told me had to go, early lunch with Ghandi. I bet you guys eat soup I say.

We both laugh. Then hug. You’ll be joining us soon, he says. Bring Spam. We’re running low.

I nodded.

By the time I write this, the world is still spinning. Jesus isn’t on the news. The world is still spinning. Jesus saves, popular tune.

Michigian to The Czar back to Portland for drinks.

Day is yet to break. Brake?

Merry Happy New Day, eat a chocolate bar, don’t shit yourself.

LOVE: A Poem

Ever knew love,
You would find your love’s hubby,
A new job?

Ever knew love,
To the point,
You would give up your current love?

I have and will do it again!!

To the day, I shall see her face,
To feel her body against mine,
To hear her scream my name,
In Blasphemy!!

She is mine forever,
A love I shall never find,
I shall never know her touch!!