Posts Tagged ‘letters to politicians’

2016 – the presidential election year that would go down in history as the biggest circus ever, mostly filled with clowns.

Hillary Clinton was suppose to win, according to polls, everyone was on board the train.

Donald Trump won.

I knew he would.

It wasn’t because I liked Mr. Trump and to be fair disclosure I voted for Hillary Clinton.

It was because he told the right people what they wanted to hear.

“Damn Mexicans! Build the wall!” Etc. Etc.

To the world who ask, no, he did not win the popular vote which yes I knows seems strange, trust me, I am confused too.

But I will also admit I do not like Hillary Clinton and in her run against Bernie Sanders to become the nominee, I voted Sanders.

Yes, my dear friends, I became “one of the sexist assholes” who did not join in line with the idea of our first woman president.

Not that I don’t want a female president, I think we as a country are way overdue in that field, I just didn’t and don’t want Hillary Clinton as president.

Why?

She, like all politicians, lie, cheats and steals.

This does not mean I wanted our first game show president to be Donald Trump.

He is our worse president ever and I doubt there could be another as bad as him.

It is possible that he could be our last due to the nuclear doomsday clock striking closer to midnight, that final countdown as portrayed in song.

Would we be in the same muck and mire if it was President Hillary Clinton?

Maybe.

Would she really act differently than Trump if the Russian hacks and bots had swung the votes to her?

We’ll never know.

Do I know without a doubt such meddling happened?

It’s highly likely but in that election year of 2016, it just seemed normal, like part of the process.

Not only the Russians but the DNC screwing the odds against another candidate but again “not proved!” screams the machine but if the tables had been turned, would they have screamed the same?

I do not know.

It just became the norm.

Welcome to the new order…..it doesn’t matter what you offer but how the TV ratings goes or how much the books sell.

Now I sit here, Trump screaming at NFL players using their freedoms of speech.

And Hillary calling me a sexist as she does her book tour interviews.

I feel shame.

A system I have loved since I was child is becoming a joke.

Both sides should be ashamed.

 

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What did President Donald Trump tell the Russians?

May 15th, 2017

Donald_Trump_official_portrait_(cropped)Apparently The United States President is in the headlines once more again this hour.

Apparently, President Donald Trump, according to some source, revealed classified information to some Russians during their visit last week.

What was revealed?

“Nothing! It’s fake news!!” President screams from the Oval Office, where he’s Tweeting even now as we type this up.

He’s a big Twitter fan!!

But we here at Wandering Where I’m Going decided to investigate into this whole shit ball and went straight to the horse’s mouth.

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“Hello Russian Media!!! You were allowed into the Oval Office last week, what was discussed between President Trump and uh, the Russians?”

“Hello Black Bear, we are big fans of your blog!! You tell truth, so shall we, it was discussed about your lovely Detroit, Michigan!! And your delightful little ham sandwiches with spicy mustard!!”

“Is that all?”

“ISIS may have been discussed but only in reference to ‘Who has the best looking women’s basketball team!?'”

“That sounds feasible!!! So the main stream media is just trying to make something out of nothing!?”

Russian Media sighs and hangs their head.

“You’re not telling us the whole story are you?”

“No! We can’t!!! Your weird delusional president will kill us if we tell you the whole story!!”

“Come on, we’re friends here, tell us! Tell us!!”

“Your President Trump told our government, he LOVES SPAM!!!”

**GASP**

You read it here first my friends, President Donald Trump LOVES Spam.

With pineapple.

**MORE GASPS**

So no investigation into Trump’s ties to Russia is needed!!

President Trump said nothing classified!!!

If you believe that, I have a bridge for sale for you in New York City, and if you buy it today, I’ll throw in the Statue of Liberty in for free!!

CHEAP!!!!

The current President of the United States is digging a hole, deeper and deeper and the more he screams, “FAKE!!” the worst he makes himself look, I’d say even making himself look like a traitor to the country he’s suppose to be the leader of.

But what do I know, I’m a bear!

He won’t even reply to my requests for an interview but will allow Russian media folks into the Oval Office.

I now know how CNN feels!

It sucks!!!

I thought I’d never say this about a President of the United States, but, YOU MR. TRUMP SUCK ASS!!!!

There, I said it!!! And he can suck a fart outta my big bear ass!!!

Good night and have a better tomorrow!!!

 

Bear-Grandfather-Mtn-Tim-Floyd-779608

A “Bear” Review of Politics! Rob Quist VS. Greg Gianforte for the souls of Montana! Congressman too!!!

All eyes are on the State of Montana.

Why?

Montana has an open congressional seat sitting empty due to Ryan Zinke, the past Congressman, being chosen to lead Satan’s army or something.

Apparently, there’s three candidates running in this special election on Thursday May 25th, 2017 –

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1. Rob Quist: Democrat – A singer and song writer and killer of babies if you believe his opponent, and who doesn’t?

Bernie Sanders, the devil’s play toy, will be in my town of Butte, Montana next Saturday, May 20th, campaigning for Rob.

I’d like to be there but I finally got a job after almost a year with no job or hope.

Now, I have some hope, but my hero, will be in the same town as me and I can’t go to scream, “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” or something.

I get confused easily.

According to Greg Gianforte, his opponent, Rob doesn’t pay his bills or taxes.

“I paid! I paid!” Rob screams from the TV set then shoots it.

I haven’t listen to Rob’s music but right now, I’m listening to ABBA and that’s all that matters!!!

According to his opponent, Rob hasn’t had a fishing or hunting license in 16 years.

Dear Greg, neither have I but shhhh, I still go hunting and fishing!! Giggle!!

Just kidding, to any law enforcement agencies reading this, I obey the law and so does Rob!!

We no use dynamite to hunt and/or fish!!

God’s honest truth.

We heard Greg though uses live human bait to enhance his bear hunting experience!!

Bad Greg!!!

Hunting bears? ANIMAL!!!

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2. Greg Gianforte: Republican – We’re not sure exactly what Greg is doing nowadays but at some point he engineered which means, we’re assuming, he killed babies, if you listen to his opponent.

Now Greg stands patiently with his hands cross waiting to be elected to some public office.

Or a meteor to strike him dead.

According to his opponent, Rob Quist, Greg doesn’t pay his bills either!

“Do so! Do so!” and then shoots a TV set!

Apparently the cool thing to do is to shoot TV sets!

Donald Trump Jr. was in my home base of Butte, Montana yesterday aka Thursday the 11th and Vice President Pence is up north trying to get out the vote.

I wish Mike Pence would come to Butte.

I lived in Indiana from 1998 to 2013 and miss the old girl, he could bring that down to me.

And we could play corn hole.

Nobody here in Butte wants to play corn hole!!!

Not sure why, it’s a fun game with a horrible name apparently!

I was going to write a stance on each of these candidates but I won’t.

This candidate wanted a sales tax in the past but now, “I did not say that!! You stop with your fake news!! LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE!!!”

Us here in Montana have voted against sales tax numerous times.

We don’t want one and those who advocate a sales tax can go to hell!!!

Or New Jersey!

Also, his stance on trying to deny access to public land is a put off for me, a public land fan.

Also Greg thinks it’d be nifty if we sold those public lands off to different companies, something I’m definitely against.

Sorry to my “Drill now!” fans.

Both candidates seemingly think we should go out hunting and fishing….FOR HUMANS!!!

Just kidding on the human part.

Or maybe not!!!

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3. Mark Wicks: Libertarian or maybe Librarian , we’re not sure! – And a third candidate, who we didn’t even know was running as we don’t see any of his ads on TV!!!

We don’t know if Mark pays his debt or shoots TV sets.

Libertarians, you need a media director, someone to make commercials for you.

Talking cats!!!

Nobody running for office uses talking cats!!

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Voice overHi! My name is Mark Wicks and I’m running for Congress! My opponents are dogs. No, seriously, they drool and everything. Go Google that! See? DOGS!! Do you want dogs running your political lives?

Of course you don’t!!!

You want a cat!! I’m that cat!!! Vote for me on May 25th!! Vote for those other guys on May 26th! Har! Har!!!

I’m a comedian too!!!

See me at Butte Civic Center July 12th!!

Bring a friend!!

We had to go to Mark’s campaign site to find out about him.

He’s a rancher!

We like ranchers.

He’s a writer!

We might be too!!

He’s a family man!

That means the mob right?

We HEART the mob!!

Dogs love him! (See pic above!!! that we stole from his website! Sorry Mark but some coverage is better than none which those other news organizations are doing!! Bad Fox News!! COVER MARK!!)

If we were allowed to vote(bears in Montana are not allowed to vote! UNFAIR!!! Bears now!! NO BEARS! NO PEACE!!!!) we’d vote for Mark!

Why?

He has a bear face and I bet he can shoot a TV screen with the best of them!

But since we can’t vote, we’re going to down a bottle of whiskey at the bar, maybe Uptown Butte, hope Bernie Sanders and VP Mike Pence will join us in a bi-partisan salute to freedom and the American way!!!

Ryan Zinke, you’re invited too!!!

So with all the facts on the table, who would we vote for?

A bottle of gin!

Who will probably win if the past is any indication? Greg Gianforte

Who will win if people decide shooting TV sets is wrong?

Bear-Grandfather-Mtn-Tim-Floyd-779608BEAR FOR CONGRESS!!!!!! 

Sorry Mark!!

We’ll endorse you though, just cause we like the dog!

And Rob, play us a song, and well, we’ll vote for you!!!!

 

 

 

 

Me1

A LETTER TO WORLD LEADERS FROM A WANDERER – DEAR PRESIDENT TRUMP

Dear Mr. President,

It seems like every time I watch the news, I have to check to make sure it’s not on the History Channel and I’m not watching something on President Nixon (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/05/10/trump-nixon-and-watergate-same–different/101506662/), The Scandals of the Teapot Dome(http://www.politicalstorm.com/new-teapot-dome-scandal/  Butte, Montana, my hometown has a connection to this President Harding scandal of that time, strange but true!!!) or The Real Housewives of New Jersey!

I’m sitting here in Butte, Montana watching the news.

I know you call everything negative against you as “Fake news” but sometimes, I wonder how much is true when you fire the guy who was starting an investigation into your connections with the Russians, The Mafia and the Martians.

There seems to be a lot of connections, why is that?

I don’t believe everything I read in the media, like you being a vampire from Planet Nine or that you have sex with Russian prostitutes in abandoned mansions in Detroit, Michigan(Psst. Google properties for sale in Detroit – CHEAP!!!! Like really cheap, and no police or fire departments to come over and mess with your cocaine parties!!!

We’re talking like $15,000 for a four bedroom, three bath house.  WHAT A DEAL!!!!)

The only news I rely on is Fox News and okay, maybe CNN, MSNBC, The Huffington Post, KTVM here in Butte, WHAS 11 there in Louisville, Kentucky, Kathie Lee Gifford and okay, Ryan Seacrest.

You have to admit Ryan Seacrest is hawt.

Even though he doesn’t wear socks or shaves his arm pit hairs!!!

But some of these stories seem to have some truth in them and you just yelling about fake news through Twitter doesn’t give me too much confidence in your innocence.

Now, you are saying you MIGHT release your tax returns AFTER you leave the White House.

Isn’t that a broken campaign promise you made?

My Lefty Commie friends think so.

So do my Righty asshole friends.

I’m still on the fence.

Please Mr. President, tell me, you’re biggest fan since 1983, when I was only 12 years old but during those days of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” I told my grandmother, “I wanna be like Donald Trump except with better hair!!!”, that you have nothing to hide!

Please!

I don’t want to believe them damn Commies on the Left that you, our glorious leader, is a no good lying cheating sack of donkey poo poo!

My grandmother hated you.

She threw darts at a picture of your face!

Well, you really can’t blame her.

She lost her job as a blackjack dealer when your casinos went bankrupt!!

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“What a cod sucker!!” She growled as each dart pierced the facsimile of your face.

Well, she didn’t call you a cod sucker.

I can’t repeat what she called you in a “Family Friendly Blog!”

“I called him a cock sucker!!” Grandmother yells. “Tell him I’ll see him in Hell soon!”

Apparently, President Trump, Hell gets CNN and Fox News!!

Grandmother passed away in 2015 but she holds a grudge for a long time!!

Anyways, today is a nice day here in Butte, almost too nice to be in the house writing a letter to you on my blog, the one I don’t make a dime on but I figured I had to get some things off my chest!

I hope Vice President Pence is doing good.

I lived for many years in the lovely state of Indiana, in the beautiful town of New Albany, Indiana.

Senator Mitch McConnell of Kentucky shook my hand once.

“I hope I can count on your vote in the next election!”

He thought I was a Kentuckian.

Close.

New Albany is right across the mighty Ohio River from Louisville, Kentucky and might as well be part of Kentucky the way the governors and the rest of the Indiana politicians treat Southern Indiana.

We got to hear more about Kentucky politics than Indianapolis dealings.

But it was okay, we had hotter women.

Still do!!!

But I felt bad breaking Mitch’s heart when I told him, “I live in Indiana!”

He tried to joke it off.

“Oh in that case, vote for me three times!”

But I knew he was dead inside.

Politics and vampire hunting will do that to a person!

Anyways, I’m back in Montana, tell Ryan Zinke I say hello!

He never shook my hand but I can tell by his eyes he wants to!

I voted for the Democrat in the election for his old seat.

Tell Ryan I said, sorry, but Gianforte seems like a “codsucker” to me and we here in Montana no suck the cod.

We may suck the trout and the carp but, those are different!

Sorry Gianforte, but Rob Quist sings better and well, he shoots TVs better!!!

Okay, I think this letter is long enough,

Your friend,

J.A. Babbyroo
Butte, Montana

P.S.

My soap operas are on! Sorry, turned the channel off the news!!! See ya later!!!!

 

 

Today, I sat here, in my room, pondering the meaning of life, wondering what I could do to make the world a better place to live, to change it on some small level, I decided to start a new project, a letter-a-day campaign, updates from me, to politicians.

I started today, this Monday, April 29th, by writing to the President of the United States.

I’ve written to him before and actually have gotten replies from him in letters sent to my home, mostly cease and desist letters delivered by Secret Service, but still, replies are replies.

Today’s letter to the President —-

Monday, April 29th, 2013

Subject: HI! HOW ARE YOU?

Dear Mr. President,

How are you? I am fine. I decided that I would start a new project, Write-a-Politician with updates about my life, my hopes, my dreams, and maybe a funny story about my cat Betsy Wetsum.

I heard your comment about not having drinks with Mitch McConnell, but, I think you should have drinks with him. I would like to be there too. I bet Mitch is an awesome drunk, probably gets up on stage and sings, I WILL SURVIVE after only one Shirley Temple and a few tabs of acid.

I know I do.

I wish you and the Congress would get together for a weekly TV show, Drinking with the White House. You could have guests on, like, radio and TV personalities, maybe Howard Stern could come on and give us recipes for cake or something.

Fox News sure doesn’t like you very much. They could come on the show too and have ice cream with you and you guys could become friends.

I think the President needs friends. I sure wouldn’t want the job, everyone hates you no matter what you do.

“Here’s a tax break!” you say and the opposition goes, “OH YEAH, SPEND THAT MONEY!!”

Try to raise taxes and they’re like, “OH NO YOU DON’T!! NOT ONE MORE DIME!!”

My cat thinks you’re all nuts and I’m starting to agree.

It’s bad to regulate guns more but it’s okay to strip our constitutional rights of due process.

Politics is so confusing. I’m glad I decided to stay away from it after working for a campaign in 1996, it was awful, peeking behind the curtain, seeing that the Emperor has no clothes not a pee-pee, how do you guys go potty without a pee-pee?

I’ve never figured out that one yet.

Anyways, enough of the politics, I don’t want these letters turning into I THINK WE SHOULD INVADE NORTH DAKOTA AND TEACH THEM A LESSON but more like JASON HAS HAD A GOOD DAY AND WANTS TO SHARE IT!!!

So seriously, how are you doing? You look better than you did in the first term. I bet you don’t really care that much now, which you shouldn’t, go out there and give them heck.

Take Mitch out for a drink!! Maybe take him out to a house of prostitution(you know, get him laid!!!)

Run naked through the rose garden yelling, THE BRITISH ARE COMING!! Wait, don’t do that last one, I think Bill Clinton tried that and almost got impeached.

George W. Bush did and well, his approval rating went up, so maybe….

Anyways, I should wrap this up, good night and have a better tomorrow, your friend,

I didn’t sign it but when sending such letters to these politicians, you need to put your full information(Well, the President just requires you put your name and zip code — some senators want your full address, so I guess they can send you nude photos of themselves!!!

It felt good to write, something meaningful and full of love, I then decided to be fair, I should write to a Republican a nice letter, a pat on the butt, and a kiss on the nose, so I decided to write Senator Mitch McConnell (R – Kentucky), who happens to be right across the great Ohio River from me so maybe, we’ll meet up for drinks and I’ll have a better blog to write!

Monday April 29th, 2013

Subject: HI! HOW ARE YOU?

Dear Senator McConnell,

I wanted to start this out as Dear Mitch, but feel that would be too informal and a bad way to start.

I think this is the first time I have written you but I hope it is not the last.

I wrote the President a nice letter, a start of a new project I am calling, UPDATES FROM ME, things like how my cat is doing, how I am doing, and maybe some recipes for cake, everyone likes to get cake recipes.

I heard the joke the President made about having drinks with you. I think the President should have drinks with you and I told him so.

I was like, “I bet Mitch is a fun person to be around, especially when he has had a few drinks in him, probably jumps up on stage at the bar and sings, I WILL SURVIVE!!!”

I’d have drinks with you!! The President too.

I’d have drinks with you guys together, on the same night at the same bar!

All three of us could get up on stage and sing, I WILL SURVIVE together, or better yet, IT’S RAINING MEN.

Anyways, how are you doing? I see you on WHAS 11 here, sometimes I watch WAVE 3 and you’re there too. Sorry about the whole bugging issues you’ve ran into, remember, never ever talk about things you don’t want disclose to the public with anyone, no matter where you are!!

Nothing is secure!!!

Anyways, if I had a favorite senator, it might be you, but only because you remind me of my Aunt Rita, especially when you smile.

If you see Senator Max Baucus, kick him in the nuts and say, THAT’S FOR 1996 YOU TURD and use my name. He’ll remember me from the pain in his nuts!!!

Thanks for reading, your friend,

Jason

P.S.

Have you ever noticed that the best pics of Louisville come from this side of the river in Indiana?

Come on over, we’ll do shots at The Boat!!!

I may break away from the borders of my country and write love letters to other countries’ politicians, though I’m not sure yet.  I’ll see how I feel in the morning.