Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

Every so often, I get a friend request on Facebook, I know I shouldn’t accept, they always lead to heart break, cut down too soon before they are executed or something.

They always start out the same, I hit accept, and a few minutes later, there’s a message, HELLO! HOW ARE YOU? MY NAME IS ______! I am happy to meet you!

99.9 percent of the time, the conversation soon turns.

“Do you have Hangout?”

I don’t. I should add that to my profile but these folks never ever read the profile, they just want to get to the romance quickly.

Today’s love of the moment is Tsegay Araya.

She and I were destined to be, but Facebook is a jealous monster and well, you shall see in our conversation.

Her messages are in the red, mine are in blue.

Chat Conversation Start 

You’re friends on Facebook 

Lives in Washington D.C. 

8:52 AM 

Hello how are you doing today? 

Just awful. How about you? 

Am fine nice to meet you and where are you from 

The moon. Where are you from? 

Am from Washington Dc 

And you are you happy married with kids? 

Very cool. No kids, or married, I semi-not suicidal. How about? Married with kids? 

Am single never been married? 

How old are you? 


What do you mean 

That’s my age. How old are you? 


I’m old. Like millions of years old. nodding You are cute. 


What do you do for a living? 

I am an assassin. You? 

Am doing my nursing service 

Have you ever been dated online before 

Oh my yes. Met the love of my life online, Banana, but she split on me. How about you? 

You the only person i have meeting here am new person here how long have you been here 

Very long time, I forget, been online for billions of years, since the early days, when chat was pure text and cybersex was orange juice on a stick. So are you looking for dating and more? 

Am looking for a serious relationship 

Me too! Me too! So do you believe in long, prolonged deprivation of the senses? 

Are you on hangout? 

Yes are you on hangout? 

*Her profile was removed because of verification before I could respond – “TAKE ME NOW YOU FOOL!!!” Stupid Facebook* 

And hence ended that love story, it was quick but very sweet. Till next time…I am…..ME!!!!


Back even in my childhood, people did not have the wonder and curse that is Facebook or the Internet as we have come to know it.

Back then, if you wanted to share you recipe for chocolate cake with your good friend, Anne, you had to pull out your recipe cards, type it up or write it down on a piece of paper and then physically give it to her, we had to have contact in a personal space.

Was it better?

Not really in some cases, to hide from people, you actually had to hide.

“Don’t answer the phone, I don’t want to talk to your grandma!” 

Nowadays, it’s called, “Don’t like your grandma’s post,she’ll know we’re online instead of at the doctor’s office like I told her we would be! If she asks, you have the mumps!”

Back in the olden days, you had to remember things, like your kids’ birthdays or your parents’ anniversary but nowadays, there’s an app for that, seriously.

We have become connected more than ever; which is good, bad, and indifferent.

Back in the day, if you wanted to “Share” your life altering story about the time you discovered peanut butter as a sex toy, you had to bring out the pen and paper, write it down and then wander down to the Safeway store bulletin board and pin it there, where it might be read by ten people before the management took it down and banned you from shopping there for 30 days.

Nowadays, you can post it to Facebook where it can be seen by millions of people world wide before the management of Facebook takes it down and bans you for 30 days because it goes against their “Terms of Service”!

The more things change, the more they stay the same, the old saying goes.

We never worried about “inappropriate” sharing of our information between companies because we didn’t know it was happening.

It did happen, we were just ignorant of the behind the scene sharing of that information.

We kind of knew it was going on, we got the catalogs we never ordered, the credit card offers we didn’t ask for, etc. but blissfully we went through our lives ignorant of the fact.

Nowadays, you can’t turn on the TV without hearing a story about such and such company mishandling their data mines or another company got hacked and billions of dollars worth of information was stolen.

Who knew we were worth that much!

Not our parents!! Not even our brothers and sister who called us worthless!

Now, we’re worth billions to some hacker in the former Eastern Bloc of the Soviet Union (back when there was a Soviet Union!)

Nowadays, we rely on the Internet for entertainment, our wealth, our sanity, that when it goes down, for even just a few minutes, we go nuts.

“Oh God, now I’ll have to talk to my kids and spouse face to face!! Jesus, come back Internet!!!”

Our lives revolve around it, we use to plan our trips, even to places we’ve been a thousand times.

Google has become our friend, our big brother, and our worst enemy.

“Hey Google…” should become our new motto, to our lord and savior, our life.

Is it bad?

Not really.

I’ve met good friends, loves, that I wouldn’t have met without the glorious Internet but there are times were it becomes a life net; a needless life net, that we could have lived without but the commercials on TV, the pop ups, tell us, we cannot live without.

The machines are not only winning the battles, they are winning the war.