Posts Tagged ‘death’

CHAPTER ONE: JULY 12TH – SOMEONE TO KILL FOR 

She was not particularly pretty, just alone, I heard her as she jogged along, a heartbeat away as I hid in the bushes, waiting for her, smelling her perfume. 

Exotic scent, driving me, the knife in my hand, I felt the handle pushing hard into my skin, would this be an easy kill? 

There she was, running by me, she stopped.   

Did she know this was her day to die? 

I slipped from the darkness and grabbed her, my arms wrapping around her, the knife at her throat, I pulled her into the bushes, she did not scream, a slight whimper escaping her lips. 

“Please…whatever you want, just take it!” she cried slightly. 

I smiled as I smelled her hair, jasmine, just like my sister used. 

I felt my hand pull the blade across her throat, hard, digging into her skin, the blood erupting from the deep wound, splashing everywhere, she tried to scream but all that came was a gurgle, the blood flooding her airway. 

“See you in Hell bitch!” I whispered into her ear, already unhearing, her body grown limp as death took her. It was more for my sake that I said those words. 

My first kill, on record of course, I had killed others, but never discovered, homeless folks, nobody cared about them, another body found in the river, face down in the water. 

The news was alive the next day. 

Woman found dead in park. 

She was twenty-three. 

Single. 

Sad really. 

No boyfriend to cry at her grave. 

No mother. 

Father left when she was three. 

Very sad story. 

Tragic really. 

They showed her photo. 

High school graduation photo. 

Lovely girl. 

She was going to be a hair stylist. 

She had a few acquaintances. 

A semi-close friend, a boy, just becoming a man. 

Crying. 

“She…I can’t believe…” he mumbled in held back tears at the camera. 

I laughed. 

Cock sucker. 

Now, now, we must not cuss, it is not polite. 

I nodded to myself in the mirror. 

Gleeful smile across my lips. 

There was a police sergeant on the television. 

He looked grim. 

Scowl on his face. 

“We will catch whoever did this!” he almost growled into the camera. 

The reporter held the microphone into his face, catching his words. 

I nodded. 

A game to play, someone to kill for, my mind said. 

Again, I nodded. 

This would be a fun game. 

I turned off the tv.  

I felt myself get hard at the thought of that pretty girl. 

Sarah was her name, I think. 

I laid back on the couch, unzipping my pants. 

I grabbed my cock hard, beginning to masturbate, hard. 

Sarah was there, riding my hard erect penis. 

She smiled at me. 

I smiled back, grabbing her, holding her. 

She moaned. 

I felt myself cum, hard. 

She vanished into the air. 

I cried. 

I was a bad boy. 

Mother would be mad if she saw me now. 

I went into the bathroom and showered. 

The water felt warm, good, against my skin. 

Were there voices coming from the living room? 

No. 

Did you take your meds boy? 

There it was, father’s voice, stern, coming from the hallway. 

I scowled. 

He was dead. 

I know he was, I killed him with a hammer to the head, five, no, it was ten years ago. 

Boy, you better talk to me! 

I shook my head. 

No father, I didn’t, fuck you, you’re dead. Buried. Reported missing. 

No more voices. I chased them away. 

I crawled into my bed; comforter pulled up against my chin. 

Good night world, see you tomorrow. 

I giggled as I fell asleep. 

There, in blinding light, I watched the world end, not with a bang but a silent whisper into the howling wind of an approaching storm.

My heart died as well that day, as my love, laid there, no signs of brain function, and I was asked should the plug be undone.

There is no great break than when you let your love go, to that place, you cannot follow at the time, though how you wanted to, but Jesus had other plans for you, you heathen!

No, you don’t get to see what the plan is, the movie has to keep going, the road keeps going on, even as you pilot yourself in a car with no steering wheel, no brakes, a hundred miles an hour, screaming as the storm begings to take ahold of you.

So, here it is, ten years later, you are still the Devil, that let your love slip from that grasp, you know deep inside, she was already gone, but the hate is still there, hate against yourself.

The times keep going on, story never ends, even when the world dies at your feet.

This story never ends…

Village Girls – Kick it!

The night was awful, sitting there, in some club, outside of reality, but there in time, you could feel your skin pulsating against the music playing around you, happy people dancing around you.

You were on your seventh expensive cocktail when the drugs took hold, the world stopped spinning, creating an energy vortex, Jesus Christ was there, trying to find his phone he lost in 1983.

Jim came in, waved at me, life of the party, the room stopped for just a second, to turn and look and wave back.

The end was near, you could feel it, in the marrow of your bones, trying to consume you, trying to kill you, trying to eat you from the inside out, the drugs weren’t working, just a placebo, you knew it, but the doctors kept positive.

“David, we can’t tell you which group you’re in but your blood numbers are good…good….really good….”

They were lying sacks of shit, you knew it, you could feel the cancer, down below the skin, in your soul, moving slowly into your brain.

“Are you thinking or does your face always looks like that?” Jim was sitting near me, his after shave burning my eyes.

I smiled and nodded.

“Who shit in your Cheerios?”

I shrugged.

He knew, he knew everything, my go to friend, when I needed to cry, he understood, he was dying too, liver was going, too many Saturday nights on the dance floor, tripping, on whatever was the designer drug of the time, but his kidneys were fine, which always made him smile when he said it.

“Lets fuck this place!” he laughed and ordered a beer, some kind of brew that only he knew.

We drank, well, Jim was drinking, I sipped, trying to find my center of the universe.

Two women of the prostitute variety wandered over to us. The ugly one of the pair sat on my knee, smiling.

“You guys looking for fun time?”

Jim smiled, shrugged.

“We could be…”

They all laughed, a part of our nightly ritual, Sarah, the girl on my knee was my off and on girlfriend, Jim’s lady, Doris, but known through out the city as Angel, were okay, for a pair of fellows like us.

They ordered shots, something to clean their pallets of jock cum and such.

“Nightmares all around!” Jim yelled and the crowd yelled their approval.

Nightmares were moonshine for the lack of a better word laced on the rim with cocaine and some kind of Molly meth carted up from Alabama.

There was a strawberry for garnish, I always ate the rum soaked treat.

By the end of the night, everyone was dead or dying, but didn’t care as they hooked up for the ride home, to make love, to fuck, to masturbate to the Weather Channel for those who didn’t get nothing but a Nightmare, to go, cause their moms worried.

Three days later, I was in the hospital, exploration surgery, to remove something, my soul I believe.

Back in time, 1988, the first time I met Jim, we were both young and dumb, freshmen in college, our first time on our own, from home, I was drinking a beer, my dad’s brand, Budweiser.

Jim smiled and sat next to me.

“I’m not gay but I could fuck you!” he said to me.

We both laughed.

We tried sleeping together a few times but discovered we were better as neurotic club kids, worshiping the cheerleaders and fantasy girls and guys who wandered in and out of our lives.

We were both Indiana bred, different sections of the state but same parents.

Our fathers were racist corn farmers, mothers always smiling, high on something, but we could never prove it.

Back to the present, waking up in a recovery room, white walls, too white to be real, was this death?

A few days later, sitting in an office, talking to a doctor, “We have some news…”

6 months, tops, my life would end.

I didn’t even cry.

I made my way to the club.

Jim was there.

He already knew by the look on my face.

“Nightmares all around!” Jim yelled and the crowd yelled their approval.

Oh kill yourself world,
To cleanse those dastardly deeds,
Done against her,
That Mother Earth,
Wars,
Famine,
Brought on by political games,
To gain,
To earn,
Nothing,
As all games played,
Do.

I saw,
With my own eyes,
The dying of the light,
To be,
Denied,
A simple death,
But to live,
In such a world,
Is such a Hell.

I saw with my eyes,
The fanning of the flames,
To quench the need
For endless wars,
And bias in the ranks,
Demon words,
Spoken with Patriotism,
So as not to spook the sheep,
The unwinding of the clock,
Tis 11:59 and the world is not sad,
Tis life,
Endless,
Good night.

/

And the Nile was dying,
The world was crying,
The world was on fire,
Humanity was dying,
Burning brightly,
Their souls,
A rage,
That light,
A constant reminder,
That there was no hope,
Except to die,
There on the fire,
This was not life,
This was not death,
This was stupidity,
Humanity’s fault.

Madness – A POEM

Posted: July 17, 2020 in poems, POETRY
Tags: , , , ,

/

Oh madness,
My madness,
Embrace me in that sweet night,
To hold me,
Oh deep,
I wait by the phone,
Dare to sleep,
You may call,
My deep,
Passionate,
Madness,
Oh sweet,
I weep,
The phone does not ring,
I hear,
Nothing,
Madness,
Oh madness,
Call me my madness,
Dare I sleep?
I dare not,
To miss your voice,
In that grain of chance,
You may call,
My madness,
My soul,
My life,
To die,
Would be magic,
If you were to hold me,
Dear madness,
Oh madness,
Call me dear,
Sweet words,
From your lips,
No dear,
No tears,
Oh madness,
Dear madness…

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Tammy was a girl,
She loved to fly so high,
To touch the sky,
One day she flew too high,
Burned up in the sun,
Died a witness to the ultimate high.

Johnny wept,
For his lost little angel,
He wish he never,
Gotten her to try,
Now he’s all alone,
Wishing he would die,
Living regrets on the edge of a kiss.

A SILENT SCREAM: A POEM

Posted: April 21, 2020 in poems, POETRY, War
Tags: , , , , , ,
Photo by Alexander Mils on Pexels.com

A SILENT SCREAM: A POEM
Inspired by a dream but not my own

Running through the forest,
Spite the trees,
Felt like it was a hundred miles,
To do as we pleased,
She told me,
Kissing me,
“I wanna be free! To be!”
I thought she was mad,
Oh how I wished she was here now.

Buy a ticket,
To this one man show,
Fly,
Oh dear soul,
Into space,
And enjoy the show,
That joy,
Oh Joy,
A rush,
Exploding freely,
That weight,
Heavy there,
On my chest,
Released.

OH FATHER!
WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?

Oh sons,
Oh daughters,
Oh century dead,
A million tears,
Blood on fields,
I’ve killed your mothers,
I’ve killed your fathers,
Oh distant,
Marches,
Into battle,
About face!
Kill!
Kill!
Die!
You enemy of the state.

FATHER,
PLEASE FORGIVE ME,
FOR I HAVE SINNED!

THOU SHALL NOT KILL!

I killed the father,
Oh mercy be,
I killed the son,
Declared an enemy,
Though not to me,
I killed the Holy ghost,
It was of no use to them,
Or us,
I killed them all,
I torched their homes,
I did it all,
For God,
For Country,
I fucking killed them all.

Mercy?
For the weak,
Thou shall not kill?
Men,
Women,
Children,
Ground into dust,
Not even a thought,
That day,
They were my enemy,
According to objectives,
Drilled into my head.

Kill!
Kill!
Spare no mercy for they are not human,
Just faces,
No soul,
Enemies of the state,
To freedom,
And Democracy.

There across the ocean,
A billion miles from home,
I killed them all,
Why,
I do not know,
To give Coke,
Or Pepsi,
A new market place?

I laugh now,
Old age is killing me,
My soul,
Lost,
Peace,
Lost that same day,
I lie here,
Alone,
Waiting for the grave,
Please father,
Forgive me,
For I have sinned…

Sweet voyages,
Across a broken plain,
The sweetness of the air,
Intoxicating.
How can you tell a dream,
From when you are awake?

The world was exploding,
The madness of the time,
Time slipped into a deathly coma,
One soulless being at a time,
Help me father,
I’m sinking into this pit,
Madness,
I cannot live like this,
Mother, can you hear me,screaming?

Is this reality,
Or just some fucked up dream?

I would yell for help,
But I have no voice,
I would scream,
Into that madness,
But my mouth is gone.

Where do we go from here,
Oh sweet life?
Where do we go from here?

That world which we did not see,
Could not see, beyond our noses,
Our eyes wide shut,
Feelings, a worthless emotion,
Of love,
Versus hate,
That world we are born into,
Dying from the start,
In a fucked up place,
We are,
In our mind’s eye,
An infection wandering through,
That mindless place in space.

A trumpet plays,
Oh dear song,
Not sung,
By a choir,
Or a single voice,
Into that night,
We raged,
Our fists held high,
Into the storm it played,
A song,
A song,
We did not hear,
But felt in a different place.

The masses flowed through the line,
Down the way,
The sacred song did play,
A beautiful serenade,
Into oblivion,
We did play.

The lights go down,
The curtain rises,
The play is about to begin,
The trumpet plays.

The world, a sinful place,
Fucked up,
Drizzle rain,
We my friends, do not need a knife,
For we have guns.

There, in the moonlight,
The light plays trickery,
A dance an illusion,
The wind our partner,
Taking us away,
Into sweet bliss,
Our grave our final bed,
Good night my sweet life,
Till we meet again, I say,
Good night!