Posts Tagged ‘crap’

Hello dear reader,

How are you?

Me, apparently cannot sleep, I’ve been tossing and turning and finally, at 3 am, I decided to stumble into my new, furnitureless living room from my new furnitureless bedroom and write my brain into a tired frenzy so it’ll let me fall fast to sleep.

Sometimes, okay, a lot, my brain decides it wants to think, random crap I can’t change, but bam, why not!

The other night, it decided to throw a girl I had a secret crush on back in elementary school as a “walk on” role in a dream.

It also decide, hey, why not throw a couple of friends in there along with my kid who isn’t even a dirty thought.

Great dream but then I wake up and go, WHAT DA HELL BRAIN?

“I don’t know, it seem right!!” It replies, shrugging as only a brain can only shrug with its lack of shoulders.

If it had eyes, it would have rolled them and said, “Thought you’d like it!!” It sighs, again if it had eyes, it would wink, and grin evily if it had a mouth.

My brain does that weird crap at 2 am, conversates with me, keeping me from sleep, it has done it for a long time, random stuff, things I have no control over, people I miss, people I haven’t thought about in 30 years, but there they are, asking how I am.

“Not too good!” I reply.

So here I sit now, legs crossed, my fingers tapping at my phone’s keyboard, writing poems randomly, letting my brain do its muttering, words flying on screen, hopefully I will fall asleep, 3:30 am, hopefully soon.

I write.

Damn brain, why won’t you calm down?

“Provide the link! To our poetry!”

CLICK HERE TO READ MY RANDOM POETRY – NEWLY MINTED! 3 AM!!

So there, my brain, the link, are you happy now??

“Quite!”

Good night my readers, sleep well…..zzzzzzzz

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Dearest readers,

It is another night and another piece I have written, which you can find the link to below!

FOR MOTHER LAND: “We deeply regret to inform you…” – A POEM

A lot of my poetry, works of fiction, mostly just arise from me, wanting to be shared, from someplace, and if I feel like it (truthfully, sometimes I just want to hide under my covers and not lift them up till forever, which, sadly, has been happening a lot lately!!) I sit down and begin writing them down either on the old trusty laptop or a note pad.

Most times, when I write these pieces, I’m feeling pretty bright and cheerful but the words are far from that point of view; the words can be dark, almost too dark, but they need to be sent out into the world.

I try to share; sometimes I think there is another world, somewhere, trying to speak and my mind is the only one listening.

If that’s the case, this piece is from some young lad, barely in his twenties, which war, I have no clue, any war will do.

Into madness,
We saw ourselves go,
Propelled there by our might,
Our own will,
Our eyes held closed,
Against the blinding of the light,
Bombs bursting in air,

One of the lines from the poem, it just popped into my mind as I sat at the kitchen table and opened my notebook, the same notebook holding my “Homeless diary” as well, I’ve kept it as a notebook for my life, jotting things down as they come to me.

Someday I hope to get it published.

Someday again, another of those things that very rarely ever comes, like tomorrow, it never comes.

We stand there and wait, someday, tomorrow, echoes from our past, our father’s words,
our mother’s, children, does not matter, tomorrow, that mythical beast, we are forever in pursuit of it, to the grave.

So we should, it is written, live for today, keep the memories alive, but only peek at them sparingly, to live in the here and now, something I need to learn to do myself.

Good night my dear friends, until I speak with you again….

02/25/2018 – Someplace on the Planet Earth

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Dear sirs and madams,

Hi!

How are you?

I keep waking up breathing, which according to the doctors, is a good thing.

“Yay for waking up breathing!” cheers the nurses who stand by to stick me in the arm, to draw my blood, that life force that keeps me breathing, I guess.

I’m not a doctor though.

I’m barely a human being; just the skin and such, to make me able to walk among the hairless apes unseen by their unintelligent eyes.

If they saw my true form, they would still go about their daily business.

CLICK HERE FOR MY NEWEST POEM – INFORMED INSANITY – A POEM TO READ IN A CLOSET WHILE THE DEVIL STEALS YOUR BUILDING BLOCKS

So, after my ordeal of being pricked and prodded, I lay here, half naked, a flimsy robe covering my nakedness, the nurse coming in on the hour to see if I need a sleeping pill.

Oh no you don’t mind sucking demon from the Planet X’Neon!!! I’m on to you.

I’ll stay up and write, to tell the outside world about you, to tell them how you steal minds, put them in jars, to sell to the Martians or trade Iranians for free porn on Craigslist.

I’m on to you!!!

EAT LASERS ALIEN SCUM!!!

My fingers are registered deadly weapons in 17 universes and 23 alternate universes, including this one.

You just don’t know you’re dead!!

Ha ha!! FOOLS!!!!

Do you know, that, when a cat shows you their belly, you should scratch it?

This tells the Universe, I’M DONE, I’m so gone, I don’t care if the cat kills me!!

And the cat will respond by purring or stealing your wallet and go on a spending spree!!

Stupid cat.

I only have  a $1.95!!

Anyways think it’s time to fall asleep, to meet her there in dreamland.

She knows who she is!!!

Your friend,

ME!

 

 

02/08/2018 – Hello!

So I’ve been trying to revive one of my old blogs; a place just to write, poetry mostly, and hope to make a few pennies maybe in the process.

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My newest piece can be found here — A SUICIDE NOTE TO THE WORLD – A POEM

It definitely is not one of my happiest poems but it just kind of came out of me and I wrote it down as quickly as I could.

To note, I’m not really suicidal, more depressed than I’ve been in awhile but not enough to go jump in front of a bus!! 😀

Anyways, it is getting late, almost 1:30 in the morning, and thinking it may be time for a nap.

A quick bit of poetry for here just to make this worth the time to hit PUBLISH!! 😀

In the night, she does dance,
Diamonds in her eyes,
Kingdom in the sky,
A glance at the madness,
Her love,
Sweet kiss,
Lay down upon the bed of light,
To awake in as a dream,
Good night…

 

 

01/18/2018 – Random Writing at 4 AM – Another Poem?

Inside my mind; I do find myself – not against the rage but not in peace either; the waves do crash upon the shore again; it is peaceful even in that storm, to hear the breaks, the rage.

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Sometimes I wonder though if this life is even worth that rage.

A NOTE TO MY DEAR READERS: 

I wrote a piece tonight; at 3 AM, at a different site – Random Writings at 3 AM(Click! READ!!!) 

My mind is awake; keeping me awake in body and soul, so I write to amuse you; TO AMUSE MYSELF, I dare say, to pull from me that place words, to place upon the screen to let you read that which is inside my head; inside my brain.

Photo0047Here in the world; the darkness of the late night or early morning; I know not what, it matters to your perception; I begin to write, silly things, my words, thrown together quite madly, nothing in design or planning; random words typed quickly before they are lost to that insanity; no rhyme or reason I should say.

A memory interloped into the mess: not THAT far away in time but enough to make me realize, I am old, middle aged.

I was in high school, memorizing the passages of darling buds of May; henceforth a love done lost, to wishes and dreams unloved; is not that reality better to live, to breathe, to see, to feel that heart break then never to have loved before?

Memories trance themselves into view randomly; as if in a dream, I shall sleep soon, I believe, I shall see the faces of those who dance among the cerebral consciousness of myself, in that dream land, peeking out from here and there; tonight my dear readers is but a mess, of randomness.

My English teacher; throwing pages down upon my desk; a composition in my first madness.

‘Unbelievably dull characters; nothing seems alive, dead! Dead! Dead! F!’ she wrote upon it; in red. ‘You’ll never be more than what you are!’

I never understood, I still don’t; it’s impossible to be more than what you are; unless you break the laws of time and space; split the universe in half, rip reality into ninths and shit upon it all!!

But I digress, sweet readers, I do not know where my mind will take us; into madness, into love, into that sweet embrace of timeless wonders; that first kiss, that first date, that moment of first joy of release, though I shall not say that first fuck!

Words do drift out; could this be the end or the beginning?

I do not know; let us begin; said the joker to the king.

We all wears masks; we hide the reality, it is easier that way; the characters do drift in and out of our lives; and make us happy, sad, indifferent, etc. etc. etc.

This is how it shall be; the beginning, the middle and the end.

The holy trinity!

Good night; till tomorrow, I am forever indebted to you, dear reader, as you share with me; this journey through time and space; Good night!!!

 

FAMILY FUN AND OTHER STUFF

~ CHAPTER ONE ~

FAMILY FEUDS OR HOW THE WORLD ENDS

Every family has one or two or half a dozen or more, those family feuds that can last centuries – Uncle A cannot stand Aunt B and such.

Seemingly, the holidays are the perfect time for these feuds to begin.

Take for example in my family; in 1958, or sometime in those hazy times, when the clouds form inside the brain fogging out the reason for the feud but giving it still a hint to know there is a feud, Great Aunt 1 took a piece of cake and began eating it.

“This cake is kinda dry.” she whispered to Great Aunt 2 who, unbeknownst to Great Aunt 1, had made such cake.

Great Aunt 2 huffed and puffed and  threw her hands in the air.

“How rude!!” And stormed out of the house to never speak a word to Great Aunt 1 for close to 50 years.

A feud soon started over chocolate cake.

I guess wars have started over less.

My aunt, my pop’s sister, will not speak to my uncle, her brother and hasn’t since basically time began.

I was born in 1971 and they weren’t on speaking terms since before then.

It always puzzled me and I asked both sides what was going on.

My uncle would tell me, “I have no idea! I’ve tried to mend the relationship many times! I love my sis!”

My aunt would reply, “He knows!” and then would hang up the phone angrily.

My pop would smile slyly and reply, “I think it’s over her bike that she thinks he chopped down into a chopper. I did that!”

Years have gone by, Presidencies have changed hands more than I can count, and still, my aunt will not speak to her brother, my uncle.

I got a reason this summer, as I stayed a few nights in a motel room in Butte, Montana.

I had bought a bottle of Black Velvet and was drinking it with diet coke(I have to watch my shape and yes, round is a shape) and soon found myself dialing my aunt.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Jello!”

We both laughed.

Why?

I have no idea.

After some small chit chat about cousins, friends and other stuff, I approached the topic easily, with just a touch of harshness to make it seem like a grill session at the police station.

“Why do you hate your brother?” I half yelled drunkly into the phone.

“I don’t hate him, I hate his wife!” the truth came out, though, my aunty S, had figured that out many years before.

Apparently, on a Christmas Day, back before the dinosaurs or 1958, the family had gathered at my grandparent’s place, a place that does not exist any more, even the town it was in is now gone, swallowed up by The Berkeley Pit.

After a feast, the family moved to the living room, for conversation and homemade beer.

Something happened that day, a fight of words broke down between my Aunty S and my grandfather; hiss growl, you, no you!!!

And soon the great rift between the family would begin; though no one remembers what started the fight, I believe it was over chocolate cake!

2016 – the presidential election year that would go down in history as the biggest circus ever, mostly filled with clowns.

Hillary Clinton was suppose to win, according to polls, everyone was on board the train.

Donald Trump won.

I knew he would.

It wasn’t because I liked Mr. Trump and to be fair disclosure I voted for Hillary Clinton.

It was because he told the right people what they wanted to hear.

“Damn Mexicans! Build the wall!” Etc. Etc.

To the world who ask, no, he did not win the popular vote which yes I knows seems strange, trust me, I am confused too.

But I will also admit I do not like Hillary Clinton and in her run against Bernie Sanders to become the nominee, I voted Sanders.

Yes, my dear friends, I became “one of the sexist assholes” who did not join in line with the idea of our first woman president.

Not that I don’t want a female president, I think we as a country are way overdue in that field, I just didn’t and don’t want Hillary Clinton as president.

Why?

She, like all politicians, lie, cheats and steals.

This does not mean I wanted our first game show president to be Donald Trump.

He is our worse president ever and I doubt there could be another as bad as him.

It is possible that he could be our last due to the nuclear doomsday clock striking closer to midnight, that final countdown as portrayed in song.

Would we be in the same muck and mire if it was President Hillary Clinton?

Maybe.

Would she really act differently than Trump if the Russian hacks and bots had swung the votes to her?

We’ll never know.

Do I know without a doubt such meddling happened?

It’s highly likely but in that election year of 2016, it just seemed normal, like part of the process.

Not only the Russians but the DNC screwing the odds against another candidate but again “not proved!” screams the machine but if the tables had been turned, would they have screamed the same?

I do not know.

It just became the norm.

Welcome to the new order…..it doesn’t matter what you offer but how the TV ratings goes or how much the books sell.

Now I sit here, Trump screaming at NFL players using their freedoms of speech.

And Hillary calling me a sexist as she does her book tour interviews.

I feel shame.

A system I have loved since I was child is becoming a joke.

Both sides should be ashamed.