THE RISING OF A BROKEN HEART – WISHING ON SHOOTING STARS – A POEM

You left me,
Lonely,
Soulless and afraid,
My heart ripped out,
Buried in that grave,
And I fell apart,
Into misery,
A broken heart,
Lives apart.

There upon the floor,
I fell down,
Upon my knees,
My tears a river,
Flowing to the sea.

Heaven is just a word,
To clear that misery,
Heaven is just Hell reversed.
Smoke drifting up,
From a midnight cigarette,
Smoked at 3 AM.

I don’t make promises,
I cannot keep,
I do not break the promises,
I made to you,
That night,
That life,
A thousand years ago,
It seems,
A different life indeed.

Here I am,
Trying to live my life,
To keep that promise that I made to you,
To keep on living,
To live,
To watch the stars,
A midnight sky,
A shooting star,
Making a wish that you were still here,
To see you one more time,
That the day would last forever,
One last kiss,
Under that sky,
Here I am,
Wishing on shooting stars.

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How do you? A Poem – inspired by Bob Dylan

How do you go home,
When you ain’t got a home?
Not even a hole?

How do you know,
When you’ve had enough,
When your watch is stopped?

How do you keep going,
When your feet are broke?

How do you laugh,
When the joke is old,
And you’re bitterly cold?

How can you get happy,
When you can’t afford the happy pills,
The doctor prescribes at the free clinic?

How do you know,
When the rain has stopped falling,
Since the TV is broken,
And the door won’t open?

A Loser in the Mist – A feeling sorry for myself post – Read at own risk –

June 5th, 2019 – Louisville, Kentucky –

HELLLLPS!!! I on Fire!!!!!

Subject: I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me? Part Deux.

I’m sitting here, a thunderstorm watch is in effect till tomorrow late evening, I’m not feeling too great emotionally, could be the atmosphere, but it could be my brain, it starts feeling like a loser and sometimes it’s right.

No worries out there, I’m not suicidal, at least not yet, maybe homicidal.

I’m just sitting here, feeling sorry for myself, I went outside, flipped off the world and came back in.

I have a soda pop, diet Coke, with extra artificial sweeteners added by the Coca-Cola Corporation to keep my rage up and my lust down to a minimum.

I decided to put ‘THE PENGUINS – EARTH ANGEL’ on for some reason.

THE PENGUINS – EARTH ANGEL

I’m not even sure what to write here, I just feel like writing, even if nobody reads it.

Sometimes it feels like I’m the last retarded monkey on a planet full of intelligent elephants, stomping through the grass where I’m laying low from them.

“Don’t step on me!” I scream at them.

But they can’t hear me, they’re too busy with their thoughts, their ideas, their MTV.

TIFFANY – I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW – 2019

I think we’re alone now, there’s just you, me and this bottle of wine, take my hand, and lets run through the vortex, into the abyss, while singing, ABBA’s dancing queen (It’s the remix version – techno days, why the hell not, I say!! Join me in tribute!!!)

I kid.

There’s no tribute.

But we can still dance.

Anyways, I just wanted to write something, silly, thoughtful, serious, and just so you can enjoy something yourself….

ABBA DANCING QUEEN REMIX

Lies – I f*cking hate you and I hope you die! A Poem

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE?

A Poem inspired by lyrics in a different way than could be imagined.

No person is referred directly in this poem.

But it’s for Steve.

You suck Steve!

Hiding my face,
Sick of looking,
For answers,
As you bury the truth,
Inside a pile,
Of that shit,
You call a life.

I disguise myself,
That I’m doing alright
While hating you,
I hate your face,
I hate the fact,
I let you into my heart,
I hate the fact,
Your face still comes up,
I want to rip your eyes out,
Tear your throat out with my teeth,
Like a wild wolf,
Rampaging against a leash,
I wish you nothing but a painful death,
A horrible rash on your ass,
I hope your children are blind,
Deaf,
Mutes,
Who fall from your worthless womb,
And splat to the ground.

I may have lost my way,
I may have lost my mind,
Standing here,
In the middle of broken dreams,
Locked in hateful thoughts,
I try to scream,
But my voice is trapped inside,
I am losing hope,
Trying to find something,
Maybe a way to erase the memories,
Wear a disguise,
To hide my rage,
I will leave your memory,
Out in the sun,
To let the crows eat you away,
A memory lost.

I hope you get a sickness,
Incurable by modern meds,
I hope you live in pain,
I hope your limbs rot and fall off,
Leaving still alive,
Trapped inside that worthless body,
Your mind screaming for death,
But it never comes,
Rot in Hell,
I hope you die,
I hate you,
I want to bash in your face,
I want to rip out your eyes,
I want to be there when you fall,
I want to laugh,
As you cry out in pain!!
I want to bash your head in,
With my fist,
Over and over,
I hope you have a great day.

Batman was a Fascist Zombie – A poem inspired by keywords

I want to bash your face in with a hammer! Die Motherfucker, die!

We were in the boys room,
Drinking gasoline,
Smoking cigarettes,
When I told you,
I wanted to kill you,
Bash in your fascist face,
Kill your mom,
Burn down your house,
Rock and roll,
Dangerous maniacs,
Inside my head,
Screaming out,
Death to death!!!

My dog hates you,
She thinks you’re a commie,
She wants to kill you,
Bash in your commie face,
Kill your mom,
Piss on your grave,
Burn down your house,
Dangerous maniacs,
Bipolar weavers,
Blind with rage,
A horror story,
In a romantic way,
I think I love you,
I still want to kill you.

I want to kill you,
Bash in your face,
With a baseball bat,
Tell the world,
You fell down a flight of stairs,
With that gun up your butt,
But I still love you,
But I kind of hate you,
You fascist commie bastard.
Die Batman, die you fascist zombie,
Go eat a neutron bomb,
Up your butt!!!!!!

Where was I?
I don’t remember,
Probably dying a little bit at a time,
Just like the mothers who said,
Eat and die,
You don’t lie,
To your mother,
The priests,
The politicians,
The guy down the street,
My dog hates your guts,
She thinks you’re a no good,
Commie bastard,
Probably from outer space,
Or Cleveland!

I want to smash your head in with a hammer,
Drink your brains,
Make love to your spleen,
I love you,
I hate you,
Can I kill you,
And make it look like an accidental suicide,
That you fell butt first on that rake?

Rage!!
pain!!!
Fuck you!!!!
You suck!!!
You should die!!!
Die! Die! Die!!!
I wanna smash your face,
You fascist commie mother fucking Nazi waste!!!
I want to slash your face!!!!!
Die! Bitch! Die!!
I think I love you,
Can we go out on a date??

Johnny’s Dream: An overdose suicide release

He didn’t leave a note, he didn’t have any time…

Note:

Many years ago, I wrote another version of this poem, I lost that copy, it was on some site, written down in a note book I kept, lost the site, as sites do close, and the notebook?

Who knows!

Johnny’s on the bathroom floor, 
He doesn’t stir a beat,
He doesn’t even hardly breathe,
Dreaming,  
Of a better place, 
Eyes wide open, 
Staring up at the ceiling,
He hears the voices,
He hears someone screaming,
He doesn’t care anymore, 
Sister tries the door, 
Tries to break it down, 
He’s just there, 
Lying on the floor, 
Dreaming of a better place,
Dreaming of a better time,
He’s high,
Flying,
Above it all, 
He just there, 
Lying on the bathroom floor, 
Sister opens up the door, 
But it’s too late, 
Johnny’s on the bathroom floor, 
He doesn’t care anymore, 
He is flying above it all, 
His soul free, 
His body just lying there on the floor. 

Dying in the rain – A Poem

Sitting on silence,
Feeling blue,
To the sounds of the Melody,
Shadows,
In the pale moonlight,
Tears falling,
From Heaven’s grace,
Feels like,
My soul,
Has gone up and leaved.

In the silence,
Of that moment,
It’s not dark yet,
But we’re already there.

A senseless melody,
Misery,
A dark light races,
Across the heart,
There ain’t no letter,
To explain,
What is going on,
Inside my mind,
Why should I even care,
The flowers are all dying,
Misstep, into the silence,
Followed the river,
Fell into the sea,
Misery,
Been on the top,
Been on the bottom,
Been a poor man,
Been a king,
Seen the flowers,
Seen the despair,
Falling from Heaven,
Seeing the gray sky,
Dying in the rain.

Untitled – Mercy of the End – Poem

I’m dying of thirst,
In a sea of misery.
Running away,
From a memory.
Dreams become reality,
In a time of the reckoning,
Love will be lost!

Fire, Dance,
Oblivion,
Oblivious,
Pained,
In sect,
Of Desect,
To not hear that blessed voice,
To not see that blessed face,
Wandering through a cursed land,
Flail, Flail, Fail, Misery encased in blind rage,
The sun burns us to the crisp,
Reach out,
Scream,
Death is not an honor to be fulfilled,
In the wilderness,
We witness the pain,
All the children,
Passed that moment of insanity,
To creep,
Waiting for the sun to rise,
To burn,
To scorch,
High,
Fly,
Into that distant space,
Place,

There’s danger,
On the tracks,
Ahead,
See?
See?
Wondering when the disaster will hit,
Ride the highway,
Ride, to feel, to scream,
Fuck,
Shit,
Release,
The ancient sighs of merriment, In case!

Where?

Here?

Yes!

No?

I don’t know!!!

The end?

No!

The old man felt his skin release and fall to the floor, the dancers twirled around him, flaming tom-toms in their hands, flailing around them, with a grace.

He felt life leaving, drifting away into the black cosmos that began to fill his eyes.

He was dying, he knew it, his children knew it, no one could stop it, he was born dying, from that first cry, to that last cry, he stood from the ground and walked on down the hall, the scorpions at his feet pierced his skin with each step, there was no pain, only laughter in his voice.

“Father…”

“Yes son?”

“I want to kill you!”

The voices dimmed to murmurs, silence, then eruptions of screams from the doorways he passed, death, life, birth, sex, fuck, fuck, death, death, kill, life, shit, mother, father, son, holy ghost, crap, shit, shit, die.

He could move no further down the hall, the wall blocked his way, his body denied him steps and then he fell forward, grasping the air.

“This is the end, my beautiful friend…” the voices said “We set you free…”

Death.

The End.

LONG DAY COMIN’ – A LONG LIFE INDEED A Lyrical Poem

Long day comin’
A long life indeed,
Into the brutal winds,
We see ourselves,
To hear that moaning of the wind,
Blowing through the trees,
The dying inside,
Weeping alone,
Fly,
Into the sky,
That misery,
Dreams,
Silence,
In aliments of man,
Kind.

December 12th, 1983, Mary was dying, cancer.

Doctors only gave her weeks.

Her family, some she hadn’t seen in years, gathered about, tears, were they real?

Probably not.

She passed away in January.

It was a Tuesday, early morning haze, sun barely rising through it all, distant mountains showing their way through that haze, capped in icy crystal snow.

I was dying too, slowly, not as fast, from that day I was born, we all were, some just wouldn’t realize it till it was too late.

Life goes on,
Like a river flowing,
Life goes on,
Like that blue sky rolling,
Life goes on,
Summer breezes,
Through that winter,
Calling me home,
Through those pines,
Up into herald mountains,
To that place I remember,
Like the river that flows below
Those blue skies that roll.

Summer breezes,
Rolling freely like a stone,
Rolling down that mountain,
I am going home.

Long day,
No one comes any more,
See you when the May is done,
And the light is dimming bright,
Sell me oh Lord,
To that ground,
For deep sleep,
Do not weep,
Do not care,
I am no longer here,
But free,
FREE!
Live like the river flows,
To the sea,
Be free,
Live.

When I die,
Do not gather at my feet,
Do not weep,
Do not cry,
Do not lie,
On how I was,
But where I am,
FREE!!!
A spirit,
On the wind,
Free, free…

Hide inside yourself – Razor Blades: A POEM

Do you want to run away,
Hide your face inside your pain,
Wear your mask to hide your pain?

Dry your eyes,
Lie in bed,
See tomorrow through glasses of shade,
Hazy eyes, see broken dreams,
Expand into the mind,
To find the world,
Deeply scarred from razor blades.

When you close your eyes,
Do you see the rainbow through the haze?
Do you hear the reason for the life of an angel high above?

Do you see forever?
Hear the angels calling you?
Do you feel immortal in the rain?

Long day dying,
Among the stars floating high above,
In rage inside,
To hear the call from all around,
No one comes around anymore,
To see you,
When the May has come and gone,
To fly away,
To the sun,
And the light is dimming away,
Don’t give me the time,
Live like the river flows,
Down to the shore,
Live like the river lows,
To the morgue…