Archive for the ‘Random stuff–read at your own risk!’ Category

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She,
Swept lightly by the wind,
Into twirling stars above,
She is beauty,
That beauty in the wind,
By sound,
By sight,
As the rain falls silently,
She is beauty,
She dances,
In moonlight,
In that pale light,
Those stars,
Twirling around her,
Embracing her softly,
The wind,
Its touch on her skin,
She moans,
Slightly,
A whisper,
Close by.

She dances,
Naked,
Free,
In that pale moonlight,
Stars in her eyes,
That moment of glee,
A memory,
Played out,
For all to see,
She is the spirit,
In that field,
She is that moment
In time,
Laughing,
And singing,
And having a good time.

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Life is a dream,
That you live for,
A diary of memories,
Played out in reality,
A sense of the times
Falling through heaven.

She stands in the doorway,
A glimpse of the past,
The dream is fading,
Too long for a memory,
You feel her touch,
Her kiss lingering,
Where has the time gone,
A fading dream of a life going freely,
How do you know when the time is right?

Clinging the side of boat,
Drowning inside,
Crying for spite,
The world keeps spinning,
And you wish to get off!

Heaven left,
And we all wept,
Standing there,
Like statues,
There in fire raining down,
Our eyes held fast,
Against the burning ground.

In the end,
Burning free,
To the end of the rope,
To set free,
That dying light,
To expand,
Heaven dare not impede,
That explosion,
To race against that life,
To speed,
Good night!

We were drinking gasoline,
Slowly stirring in our memories,
Half past never,
Flying to the moon,
Stuck there in the pool,
Drinking in the scents of life,
Love,
The same past misery.

We were living as we were dying,
Left somewhere in space,
A dying of that soft life,
A mirror a reflection of our lies,
Into that madness,
We screamed,
And we died,
An abyss,
Into that madness we dived.

A holy moment,
There in the pale moonlight,
God was a bottle of Jack,
And our church was that moment,
Staring up into the stars,
There, floating on our backs,
A beautiful moment,
Lost in time.

Random text,
Added here,
For Clarity,
Do you see it?
Do you hear it?
Do you know,
Do you see,
How much I love you?

Random featured pictures,
Tattles remains of me and you,
Staring back at me,
I begin to cry,
Then I laugh,
How could we be so stupid?
And in love?
Hurt,
Love,
Death,
Fear,
Of what could have been.

Random generated,
Madness,
On the screen,
The world is wearing me down,
Water over stones,
Mama read all of the fables,
To me,
Biblical words,
Painted on canvas,
Where can we find a loaf of bread?

Father, how did you keep living,
Fight the fight, till that last breathe?
Mother, how did you keep living,
Fight the fight, till that last breathe?

Where are you hope?
Where are you life?

Where did everything go?

Fade to black,
Just memories…

CHAPTER ONE: JULY 12TH – SOMEONE TO KILL FOR 

She was not particularly pretty, just alone, I heard her as she jogged along, a heartbeat away as I hid in the bushes, waiting for her, smelling her perfume. 

Exotic scent, driving me, the knife in my hand, I felt the handle pushing hard into my skin, would this be an easy kill? 

There she was, running by me, she stopped.   

Did she know this was her day to die? 

I slipped from the darkness and grabbed her, my arms wrapping around her, the knife at her throat, I pulled her into the bushes, she did not scream, a slight whimper escaping her lips. 

“Please…whatever you want, just take it!” she cried slightly. 

I smiled as I smelled her hair, jasmine, just like my sister used. 

I felt my hand pull the blade across her throat, hard, digging into her skin, the blood erupting from the deep wound, splashing everywhere, she tried to scream but all that came was a gurgle, the blood flooding her airway. 

“See you in Hell bitch!” I whispered into her ear, already unhearing, her body grown limp as death took her. It was more for my sake that I said those words. 

My first kill, on record of course, I had killed others, but never discovered, homeless folks, nobody cared about them, another body found in the river, face down in the water. 

The news was alive the next day. 

Woman found dead in park. 

She was twenty-three. 

Single. 

Sad really. 

No boyfriend to cry at her grave. 

No mother. 

Father left when she was three. 

Very sad story. 

Tragic really. 

They showed her photo. 

High school graduation photo. 

Lovely girl. 

She was going to be a hair stylist. 

She had a few acquaintances. 

A semi-close friend, a boy, just becoming a man. 

Crying. 

“She…I can’t believe…” he mumbled in held back tears at the camera. 

I laughed. 

Cock sucker. 

Now, now, we must not cuss, it is not polite. 

I nodded to myself in the mirror. 

Gleeful smile across my lips. 

There was a police sergeant on the television. 

He looked grim. 

Scowl on his face. 

“We will catch whoever did this!” he almost growled into the camera. 

The reporter held the microphone into his face, catching his words. 

I nodded. 

A game to play, someone to kill for, my mind said. 

Again, I nodded. 

This would be a fun game. 

I turned off the tv.  

I felt myself get hard at the thought of that pretty girl. 

Sarah was her name, I think. 

I laid back on the couch, unzipping my pants. 

I grabbed my cock hard, beginning to masturbate, hard. 

Sarah was there, riding my hard erect penis. 

She smiled at me. 

I smiled back, grabbing her, holding her. 

She moaned. 

I felt myself cum, hard. 

She vanished into the air. 

I cried. 

I was a bad boy. 

Mother would be mad if she saw me now. 

I went into the bathroom and showered. 

The water felt warm, good, against my skin. 

Were there voices coming from the living room? 

No. 

Did you take your meds boy? 

There it was, father’s voice, stern, coming from the hallway. 

I scowled. 

He was dead. 

I know he was, I killed him with a hammer to the head, five, no, it was ten years ago. 

Boy, you better talk to me! 

I shook my head. 

No father, I didn’t, fuck you, you’re dead. Buried. Reported missing. 

No more voices. I chased them away. 

I crawled into my bed; comforter pulled up against my chin. 

Good night world, see you tomorrow. 

I giggled as I fell asleep. 

Take the misery,
Fly away,
Take the pills,
Oh dear god,
Where am I tonight?

Lies,
Mish mashed into sighs,
There are no lies tonight,
Fly away,
Oh sentry,
Into the deep dark night,
Mindless ramblings,
3 AM,
Half pass nine,
The girls in the back room,
Taking lines,
Seeing fine,
Is this the coming of the glory?

1983,
Was it that long ago?
I was living,
Out on the beach,
Sigh,
Whispering pines,
The sun arose,
To the sins of those fallen,
Was this how it was suppose to end?

The nightmare awoke,
To a thunderous applause,
The end was near,
We sensed it,
We could feel it,
Rambling on,
We fought ahead,
A gun in each hand,
Imaginary enemies,
At the door,
Screaming to be let in.

We saw their eyes,
Felt their hot breathe,
Was this the end?
Free.
The smell of alcohol,
Poured into a dirty glass,
America,
It was dying, 1993,
Could we be that dumb?

We wandered down the beach,
Holding each others hands,
The light was dying,
As we were lost in a romance,
A wilderness of pain,
All our life,
We were sinners,
Beginning to feel the end,
Waiting for that rain,
The Goddess died,
2003,
The world span,
We danced,
Cried,
Felt it all,
Laugh,
Oh Children of the King,
The Lord has come,
To see the feats of modern man,
Ride the highway,
The west is the rest,
Best?

The desert wind blew, a simple tune, aware, we could not see our flesh, pulling into that nightmare, is this peace our end?

Johnny laid in wait,
Rest eternally,
Gone from the madness of this world,
We sat,
We dare not cry,
For the tears would burn our skin,
Was this end of that world?
Our youth flying away,
To be embraced,
By the aged?

Good night,
Good night,
Till we meet again,
I shall say good night…

Jack,
RIP,
Dead at 23.

Rest in pieces,
The time line is broken,
1953, all out of whack,
1989, We don’t know,
We came up for air,
Alive?
Dead?
We were never sure.

Aaron was crying,
Standing there,
In the corner,
His red tongue,
Taking the world apart,
Fuck this,
Fuck that,
Give up,
Swear allegiance,
The seeds bloom into rage,
Rage against the machine,
Society grinding us,
Apart, fully naked,
We die, there on the corner,
Death is not beautiful,
Just a sigh,
A dying of the light,
My soul,
Dying in the midnight,
No one sees,
The rage,
Rage.
Go to the sign,
Read,
Give up,
I licked my dry lips,
Taking a shit,
Public restroom,
Hear society,
Moving back and forth,
The urinals over flowing,
Covering the floor,
A mess,
Is this life?
A mess?

We give up,
Moving forward,
Towards an end,
To see the setting of the sun,
Upon our crusaders,
Monkeys thrown into the gears,
Hunters dying,
Shot by their own guns,
YES!
YES!

The crowd screams,
The world spins,
And in the end,
We shall see,
We shall see…

Someone else,
Sitting there,
Screaming,
Pounding fist,
Anger,
Can you hear the dying of the light?

Somewhere else,
Ending,
Flying into near blind darkness,
The end is near,
Oh beautiful soul,
Do dare not leave,
Before the song is end,
The chorus sings,
Of jubilant sound,
Oh blessed sound,
Into that near endless oblivion.

We stepped forward,
1st step,
Right foot,
Left foot,
Repeat,
Welcome to Hell,
Junior league,
Take our medicines,
This was our life,
TV till 2 pm,
Lunch was served outside,
Apple,
Tuna fish sandwich,
No forks,
No knives,
We could hurt ourselves,
They let us have a cigarette,
Blowing smoke rings,
Outside reality,
They drift,
Escaping that madness,
At night,
The screams,
Dear God,
Shut up,
The night terrors,
You’re the one screaming,
Take your medicine,
Sleep,
Perchance to dream,
Can’t breathe,
Mother,
Can you hear me?
Father,
Am I becoming dead inside?

Morning,
Sun streaming in,
Curtains pulled back,
Doris is here,
She’s my sister,
She worries,
My life,
My tears,
She worries,
Hugs me,
Wonders if I’m eating enough,
Tuna fish sandwich,
An apple,
No fork,
No knife,
We could hurt ourselves,
Take my meds,
Half pass three,
Next to my knees,
Bees inside,
Burrowing into my mind’s eye,
Reality is dying,
What is reality?
Is this reality?
I could not tell.

Nine o Five,
More meds,
Wake up! Wake up!
Where was I?
Sanity?
Was I insane?
Was the world?
I coughed.
Blood in my mouth.
Nurse,
Nurse,
Is this right?

Ten Twenty Two,
PM,
I die,
I think,
Maybe just a stop in time,
The rain is falling outside,
Draining off the windows,
Hits the ground,
Bam!
Slam!
Beating on my chest,
Live, you cocksucker, you better live,
Nurse is screaming,
Bam!
Slam!
Shit, fuck, am I alive?

Am I,
Am I anything?

Good night!

Darkness falls, the world senses its demise and down pours its tears onto the residents below. 

They don’t get it, all they get is they are now wet and hungry, looking for an angry fix at 3 am. 

Jill was singing, sad songs, there at the corner she sat on, she couldn’t sleep tonight.  

She rarely slept at all, either too quiet or too loud, never a good median point for her. 

“Baby crying on the moon woke me up! Man, I gotta get some sleep!” 

Murders in the street, outside, inside, all around us, people were dying, left, right, a man in his 30s found strangled, woman in her late 50s, knifed for her purse. Murdered for her teeth. 

Jackson, my last friend from the old days, was standing nearby, listening, for the police, for the thugs, for anyone. 

“I gotchu!” Rowling said from the corner. “I got the blues and the greens!!” 

Jill smiled, threw up two fingers.   

“Good! Good! $50!” 

Cash in hand, pills into mouth, gulping them down hungrily. 

We needed to find her a place to crash.  

My house was a no go, mom was there for the week, running away from Dad, probably would change her mind before the weekend. 

Jackson’s house was burning down even as we spoke. Revitalization by the city, burn the slums down, if the residents still inside, they were warned.   

It was cheaper than just tearing them down. If the city was lucky, a few of the other blocks would catch too and you’d get two for one. Sometimes three. The next day, the builders came in, high priced condos in less than a week. 

We knew there was an abandoned motel down the block, even some beds left, it was our best hope. 

Jill was going fast. 

“To my bed, my solider!” she purred, almost falling face first into the wet cement. 

We hustled and bustled our way through the crowd, holding onto Jill from both sides. 

We hauled her up a set of stairs, open the half broken door and pull her into the room, it smelled of urine, mold and shit, not necessarily in that order.

The bed, a bit stained but slept fine, embraced her as she slumbered. Jackson and I took watch inside the room.

We awoke to the sound of a war, or what sounded like a war outside.

Men in military uniforms smashed in the door, brandishing guns, sweeping the room as they ram their way in.

“Hands in the air!!! Stand up and move slowly outside!!!” one of the men yelled at us.

I looked towards the bed, Jill wasn’t there, like she had just disappeared.

Jackson was up, pulling me up quickly. “We ain’t done nothing wrong man!!” he cried towards the solider.

“Outside! NOW!” the man screamed, prodding us with his gun out the door.

We were led to a van and ordered inside.

A few minutes later, we were heading somewhere, detention center? A food processing plant?