Rob Quist VS. Greg Gianforte for the souls of Montana! Congressman too!!! A “Bear” Review of Politics!

Posted: May 12, 2017 in humor, Political Humor, POLITICS
Tags: , , , , , ,

Bear-Grandfather-Mtn-Tim-Floyd-779608

A “Bear” Review of Politics! Rob Quist VS. Greg Gianforte for the souls of Montana! Congressman too!!!

All eyes are on the State of Montana.

Why?

Montana has an open congressional seat sitting empty due to Ryan Zinke, the past Congressman, being chosen to lead Satan’s army or something.

Apparently, there’s three candidates running in this special election on Thursday May 25th, 2017 –

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1. Rob Quist: Democrat – A singer and song writer and killer of babies if you believe his opponent, and who doesn’t?

Bernie Sanders, the devil’s play toy, will be in my town of Butte, Montana next Saturday, May 20th, campaigning for Rob.

I’d like to be there but I finally got a job after almost a year with no job or hope.

Now, I have some hope, but my hero, will be in the same town as me and I can’t go to scream, “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” or something.

I get confused easily.

According to Greg Gianforte, his opponent, Rob doesn’t pay his bills or taxes.

“I paid! I paid!” Rob screams from the TV set then shoots it.

I haven’t listen to Rob’s music but right now, I’m listening to ABBA and that’s all that matters!!!

According to his opponent, Rob hasn’t had a fishing or hunting license in 16 years.

Dear Greg, neither have I but shhhh, I still go hunting and fishing!! Giggle!!

Just kidding, to any law enforcement agencies reading this, I obey the law and so does Rob!!

We no use dynamite to hunt and/or fish!!

God’s honest truth.

We heard Greg though uses live human bait to enhance his bear hunting experience!!

Bad Greg!!!

Hunting bears? ANIMAL!!!

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2. Greg Gianforte: Republican – We’re not sure exactly what Greg is doing nowadays but at some point he engineered which means, we’re assuming, he killed babies, if you listen to his opponent.

Now Greg stands patiently with his hands cross waiting to be elected to some public office.

Or a meteor to strike him dead.

According to his opponent, Rob Quist, Greg doesn’t pay his bills either!

“Do so! Do so!” and then shoots a TV set!

Apparently the cool thing to do is to shoot TV sets!

Donald Trump Jr. was in my home base of Butte, Montana yesterday aka Thursday the 11th and Vice President Pence is up north trying to get out the vote.

I wish Mike Pence would come to Butte.

I lived in Indiana from 1998 to 2013 and miss the old girl, he could bring that down to me.

And we could play corn hole.

Nobody here in Butte wants to play corn hole!!!

Not sure why, it’s a fun game with a horrible name apparently!

I was going to write a stance on each of these candidates but I won’t.

This candidate wanted a sales tax in the past but now, “I did not say that!! You stop with your fake news!! LIAR! LIAR! PANTS ON FIRE!!!”

Us here in Montana have voted against sales tax numerous times.

We don’t want one and those who advocate a sales tax can go to hell!!!

Or New Jersey!

Also, his stance on trying to deny access to public land is a put off for me, a public land fan.

Also Greg thinks it’d be nifty if we sold those public lands off to different companies, something I’m definitely against.

Sorry to my “Drill now!” fans.

Both candidates seemingly think we should go out hunting and fishing….FOR HUMANS!!!

Just kidding on the human part.

Or maybe not!!!

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3. Mark Wicks: Libertarian or maybe Librarian , we’re not sure! – And a third candidate, who we didn’t even know was running as we don’t see any of his ads on TV!!!

We don’t know if Mark pays his debt or shoots TV sets.

Libertarians, you need a media director, someone to make commercials for you.

Talking cats!!!

Nobody running for office uses talking cats!!

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Voice overHi! My name is Mark Wicks and I’m running for Congress! My opponents are dogs. No, seriously, they drool and everything. Go Google that! See? DOGS!! Do you want dogs running your political lives?

Of course you don’t!!!

You want a cat!! I’m that cat!!! Vote for me on May 25th!! Vote for those other guys on May 26th! Har! Har!!!

I’m a comedian too!!!

See me at Butte Civic Center July 12th!!

Bring a friend!!

We had to go to Mark’s campaign site to find out about him.

He’s a rancher!

We like ranchers.

He’s a writer!

We might be too!!

He’s a family man!

That means the mob right?

We HEART the mob!!

Dogs love him! (See pic above!!! that we stole from his website! Sorry Mark but some coverage is better than none which those other news organizations are doing!! Bad Fox News!! COVER MARK!!)

If we were allowed to vote(bears in Montana are not allowed to vote! UNFAIR!!! Bears now!! NO BEARS! NO PEACE!!!!) we’d vote for Mark!

Why?

He has a bear face and I bet he can shoot a TV screen with the best of them!

But since we can’t vote, we’re going to down a bottle of whiskey at the bar, maybe Uptown Butte, hope Bernie Sanders and VP Mike Pence will join us in a bi-partisan salute to freedom and the American way!!!

Ryan Zinke, you’re invited too!!!

So with all the facts on the table, who would we vote for?

A bottle of gin!

Who will probably win if the past is any indication? Greg Gianforte

Who will win if people decide shooting TV sets is wrong?

Bear-Grandfather-Mtn-Tim-Floyd-779608BEAR FOR CONGRESS!!!!!! 

Sorry Mark!!

We’ll endorse you though, just cause we like the dog!

And Rob, play us a song, and well, we’ll vote for you!!!!

 

 

 

 

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