LOVE NEVER ENDS

Posted: August 21, 2013 in Uncategorized
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Loving on the ocean, 
Noving freely, against the tide,
Never losing, never winning,
Against the waves, the movement goes fast behind!

Love is an emotion, freely giving, lost in the waves of time,
Death does not take it, even when we love someone else,
We move forward,
But still we feel the pain of lost love,
Cry forever, that lover we lost, to the grip of death,
We shall never know another like that love we found.

The ocean waves pound against the shore,
Erasing the lines of our life,
People do not understand why we cry,
Even when we are sober, walking down the road,
Thinking of the past, that road behind us!

We are lonely,
Or soul is dead, not breathing,
And still our love does not come to us.

We shall never meet another like her,
Whose kiss is like candy, sweet, we shall forever wander down the trial!

We are lost,
Moving down the road, towards nothing, 
No end, no start, we drink the wine, to kill the pain, it does not work!
I shall always love you, forever and ever, till the end of time, you are my everything!

They say you can’t go home again, that time changes everything,
The life, the place you once knew is no longer the same.

Standing in the stream, waiting, eyes to the distant horizon, watching, hoping,That one day, it will come back to you, but the stream keeps moving forward, away,
And nothing stays the same.

What will happen, no one knows, the past is past; tomorrow never comes and all we have is today,
To feel; sadness, happiness, tears and laughter, standing there, watching the sky, intense blue.
Life goes on even when you don’t want to.

The hardness, the pain, lets us enjoy the light, the happiness that shall come someday, hopefully soon.
That which does not kill us, makes us stronger, so the old saying goes.
Some days, we feel like sitting down, never to arise again, to feel the hard ground, to grasp the dirt into our fingers, to close our eyes and never awake, last breath escaping from our lips, rise to Heaven, or fall to Hell.

Blackfoot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The river moves onward and forward, as we should, in everything.  Those who have gone forth will be with us till the end of days, forever and ever, here in our heart, in our soul, and we keep on moving as they would want us to go forward, though, as has been said by better men than I, it can be hard, tempted to lie on comfortable grass and never rise again.

I keep moving, forward, onward, her in my heart, in my soul, the blue skies above me, high cliffs, so high they touch the sky, to my side, the lane moving forward, ever forward, the direction I shall go till the end.

 

Depression sucks!

Trying to get rid of it, to become happier, sucks even more.

Walking down the road, thinking about life, I begin to realize, I’ve lost my soul, bit by bit, not sure when, depression settling into its place.

I think about life, sober, not now though, I’ve been drinking cheap beer, which gets me thinking even more, realizing what life is about.

Sober, I walk down the road, thinking about life, the beginning, way before I became an adult, I go back into time, to a “better” place.

Is this time, right now, the better time, going farther down the hill, will life get worst? Better?

Depression sucks, it makes you look at life in darker light.

I try to get happier, which is tough, when the negative outranks the positive.

Will life get better?

People say so.

Others say no.

I try to keep positive, but it’s tough, the mind starts to think about other things, the negatives outrank the positive.

Then other days, the positive outranks the negative, those days are the best, I skip down the road, singing a song of happiness and light.

Good times.

The bad times disappear.

Right now, I am depressed, for no reason. The mind goes into the dark places, nothing cheers me up, even the beer doesn’t, the booze flows through me and disappears into the air.

Life sucks, move down the hill, the world keeps punching me in the guts, hard and with no love.

Then the next day, life kisses me with passion and love, embraces me and I love it.

Then back to bad.

Kick, punch, hate me, then the next, embrace, up, down, I hate it, I love it…

I wish life would make up its mind, to embrace me, love me, it sucks when it hates me.

I walk through the darkness, eyes wide open, mouth singing songs never meant to sing.This is life, from the bottom up, down inside, over and out, life is about everything.
I awake, breathing, eyes wide open, once again, singing about life.

There is a road, leading up into the sky, to grasp the sky, to breathe the air free.
We are nothing, we are everything, this is it, eyes seeing, mind knowing.
We are everything, we see it all, ran to the end, walked till our feet bleed, we are we.

Were are you sister? Were are you brother?
Were are you my dear wife, gone to heaven forever and ever?

The body is dying, the soul is fleeing, this is the end, my only friend.
Where are you? Gone to battle, to find your meaning in life, to find that which means the most?

Money, sex, drugs, everything, nothing is worth the end of it all.
I shall meet you at the hill, the huge tree snaking its way over us, grasping us, holding us.

Death become us.

Where do we go?

Here?

There?

Everywhere?

I love you dearest one, till we meet again, I am here, there, everywhere.

Singing,

Laughing,

Running,

Falling,

I am alive, and well, breathing forever, till the end of time.

We shall become one with the alive.

 

THE MATRIX IS REAL – So reads the sign at the beginning of the Universe.

At the end, it reads, abandon all hope ye who enters here…

Except the e at the end has dropped off back in the early 70s, so now the sign reads, abandon all hope ye who enters her.

The old gods still snicker when they see it.

The city lights are low, barely see able, my eyes are mere slits as I move across the alley way.

This is the Matrix, Version 19.0.

The robots move through the air, looking for the humanoids, disconnected from the Matrix, but connected by the line that keeps me moving, sweeping the Net looking for the data, modifying it, recreating the illusion, night time into day, death into life.

The Matrix police scan for these changes, always looking, scanning the frequencies, looking for the small changes I dilute here and there.

The City is blight, dead stoners still jacking in and dropping in.

Dr. Timothy Leary would be proud, acid heads in the virtual world, skimming the data, looking for a sweet hit, this was the world meant to be, dry grey, changeable by a sweep of the hand, William Gibson Neuromancer, the sky was gray, the color of a TV off a station and I was flying through it all.

Godless angels worshiped the magic of information at 10,000 words a second.

I was sitting at the temple of the Net, the Matrix leader, Google to the oldbies now called, THE ONE. 

I searched the Net looking for my dead lover. She was still online, even though her meat flesh had died in 2012.

The Matrix came alive with the sounds of information, ones and zeroes, here, there and everywhere.

She had died, her soul was still hitting chat rooms, Dark Angel had talked to her last night.  It was a beautiful life, colors beyond colors.

I didn’t think I could catch her, but I kept trying, running through the Matrix, one step ahead of the Police.

“It’s a sin!” they would say, robotronic voice echoing through the net.

“Oh Father, forgive me, for I need to syn, through this Hell. I do not understand….” I prayed the Satanic prayer to the Net.

I wanted my lover back, even if just in Cyber form, I could talk to her, one more time, a kiss in virtual sin.

Vatican.com was pulling fast towards me. “This is not acceptable!! God does not forgive you!”

I did not care! I was there, with her, soft kisses, moving into sexual over drive, we twisted into each other. The Matrix became us…

Walking down the road, eyes to the ground, spirit to the Heavens,I keep moving and the breath still ushers forth, for I am alive,
Alive in this world, alive to see another day, another sunrise, sunset,
Walking forward and onward, feet to the ground, arms in the air,
This is life, perfect, not perfect, a great life in harmony of everything.

Life is moving, kissing, loving, seeing, hearing, back and forth, breath in, out,
Life is here, there, everything, nothing, the gaze of everyone from inside my head,
A kiss, loving in the fields of grass, embrace, night time, day time, every time, against the wind,
Moving forward through space, into blind open sight.

The time is near to contemplate everything, Gods listen as I scream into the dark,
Tears rolling down my eyes,
This is life,
Happiness,
Sadness,
Death and life, embrace into everything.

Good,
Bad,
Indifference,
Pain,
Ecstasy,
Everyone dies.
It’s okay…

Mother, father, I cannot see myself, 
Everyone wears a mask, 
Not to deceive, but to hide,
Pain lost inside the memories of life.

I stood at the edge, looked over,
Wanted to jump off,
Free falling into bliss, the end nears.

I could not jump,
Humanity held me in place,
Kept me there, to live life,
Why, I have no idea, movements become labor,
Each step a pain, keeping alive, breathing, a task.

The edge stays there, tempting me, motioning to me, 
To take the easy step off, into darkness, a dreamed reality,
Awake my child, I wish the words would come, the darkness lifts, 
My eyes open, it was all a dream, I wish, I hope, but it keeps going on.

The sight is gone, the tastes are not there, the winds are dead, 
Mindless, wandering, falling over sharp stones, cutting me and I not bleed.

Trying to run away from the pain, the memories, into the words,
Like drugs, memories drifting down, do not blame yourself,
Search inside myself, to wake life once more.

Everyone tries to wear a mask, to hide the tears underneath the laugh.
The lies build into life, smiling, nodding, dreaming, living,
Rushing head long into the night, blind, grasping, feeling, dying,

Awake my children to the madness, awake, awake, see the wall 
Fast approaching, break the mirrors in your mind so you do not have to see,
The faces staring back at you, laughing, pointing, sneering,
The world is fast spinning, colliding inside with the demons fresh at your heels.

Ripping flesh, pulling meat from your bones, 
My body is dying, as is everyone, but I fast approach the wall,
Head long, eyes closed, breath held, break fast, jump,
Fall to the ground, fists pounding into the ground, breaking bone.

This is the end, my only friend, the end…